IF movie review: Air of woe surrounds John Karsinski’s family fantasy

Once the IFs, shepherded by Cal (Reynolds), start turning up, Bea is suddenly transformed into this inquisitive child who is able to put her dad’s illness behind her for long stretches of day. These are all IFs who are technically retired as the children whom they belonged to have grown up. Bea takes it upon herself to “reunite” them with kids, with the help of Cal.

It’s a painful process, more for us than Bea – and Reynolds doesn’t look like he is having much fun either. The funny stuff is not funny, the jokes don’t land, there are no real emotional high points and some characters seem to be there for no reason at all. It makes one appreciate Toy Story’s effortless accomplishments even more.

To pass time, you can guess the marquee star mouthing the latest IF on screen, and there is a whole range of them, from Krasinski’s wife Emily Blunt to his Office co-star Steve Carell (as Blue, the cuddliest IF of all), to George Clooney, Bradley Cooper and Matt Damon.

Ironically, the one person around who comes closest to raw, unfiltered emotion is the grandmother. She gets to recall a great date, dance a great dance, burn a few pancakes, and ask that question you always wanted to ask, but didn’t know you could: “Why does ice form on the top of ice cream?”