Fashion Victim

So here is the dope. I am no Anna Wintour. This in layman terms means that I am not exactly a fashion expert. I don’t wear those nerdy Versace glasses which are so “in” now,I don’t have a fashionable streak of white running through my mane and I most definitely don’t gobble up a trembling assistant or two for breakfast. I have heard of Jimmy Choo and Prada of course but I have heard of my legendary Shukla pishi from Shillong too who can supposedly knit a cardigan out of on single ball of wool. I do mouth words like “silhouettes”,“prêt” and “texture” in various permutations and combinations (oh I love the silhouette of Manish’s line but Zubair is the god of texture)but everyone knows am fibbing. The fashionistas may politely cough into their delicately perfumed Louis Vuitton scarves and look away,but I do believe that a layman like me has every reason in the world to be in a fashion event. You see,I’m your eyes and ears. Makes sense? Good. So armed with nothing but my middle-class sensibilities and a Shantiniketan jhola I raided the hallowed halls of ITC Sonar where the second edition of Kolkata Fashion Week will draw a steady trickle of Kolkata’s crème de la crème for the next few days. Once I waded through a maze of streaked,bleached and wonderfully perfumed hair,I found myself literally delivered to a satin-covered chair in the first row of the Ritu Kumar show. Do I even know who Ritu Kumar is you ask? As a matter of fact I do. She is the grande dame of Indian fashion whose designs have got India many a ‘best national costume” award in beauty pageants. See? Twenty minutes later I walked out a happy man. I may not be an expert with cuts and texture but I do know a good lehnga when I see one.

But I wasn’t meant to float around in a Ritu Kumar-induced haze for long. A certain Leena Taneja ensured that. She presented a collection inspired by the legendary Audrey Hepburn. A travesty in her name if you ask me,all I can remember from the show is an invasion of a very unappetizing colour,a dirty yellow-brown with a dash of navy blue which basically looks like a mix of molten chocolate and you-know-what. Thank god for this nice Kashmiri man called Zubair Kirmani. His muted,classic collection was like a balm on my ruffled nerves. Lots of nice suits and fitted pants.

And then of course there was Rocky S. He is a Bollywood designer you see who designs for the likes of Katrina Kaif . Well,his collection sure was Bollywood. The women looked like they were extras in a plush Karan Johar film and the men in their crystal studded sherwanis looked like they were born to play Shah Rukh Khan’s best man in a Aditya Chopra film. The last designer to show was the Goa man,Wendell Rodricks. His collection very Goa. You know linen and more linen?