Opinion The ‘Fitting’ Reply

News channels get hysterical over demanding answers.

August 24, 2013 02:25 AM IST First published on: Aug 24, 2013 at 02:25 AM IST

Every day,TV news declares war on the world yet again. One day,possibly to make his interrogators happy,LeT leader Abdul Karim Tunda says that former ISI chief Hamid Gul was his handler,and Arnab Goswami launches a cross-border escalation. In a debate colourfully titled Human Dossier Against Pakistan,he orders the Prime Minister to refuse to meet Nawaz Sharif unless he sends us Hamid Gul in a sack,or similar. This fine advice comes at a rare moment in our bilateral history when the prime minister of Pakistan insists that peace with India is a precondition for development.

Another day,another war the Chinese incursion into Arunachal Pradesh. Neither the first nor the most provocative. The Peoples Liberation Army just squatted for two days,ignoring Indian banners telling them to slope off. Maybe they couldnt read English. Probably,they wouldnt. But it certainly wasnt an occupying army and did not warrant the predictable demands for a fitting reply that we saw on TV. Fortunately,the Ministry of External Affairs ignored the hysterics.

Another day,and it is Asaram Bapu in action yet again. He had gathered amazed eyeballs in spring,playing Holi with water cannon fed by a fleet of tankers. Since this was in Nagpur,in drought-hit Maharashtra,and especially since this was drinking water supplied by the municipal corporation,concerned TV reporters highlighted the matter. They were thrashed by the enlightened Bapus supporters as soon as they were off air.

This time,Bapuji is on a sticky wicket with a minor inmate of his gurukul in Chhattisgarh accusing him of rape. The FIR was filed in Delhi,the alleged crime was committed in Jodhpur and the suspect is in Ahmedabad,surrounded by a phalanx of devotees. The legal and logistical issues raised by geography were covered rather well by Shailendra Jha and Purab Patel,the Rajasthan and Gujarat correspondents of News Nation,which is mandated to produce sensible news for the intelligent viewer. Sensibly and intelligently,Jha criticised the lumpenism that Bapus cult nurtures. Thanks to the cameras,it has been ocularly perceivable. But the anchor went the last mile where only courts of law dare to venture. The backdrop behind him cautiously asked,Will Asaram Bapu be arrested? Regardless,he concluded that Bapu had raped someone.

Meanwhile,Deepak Chaurasia of India News was doing one of those creepy Bollywood shows which oscillate between premeditated promo and critical journalism,the latter interpolated to allay the suspicions of the public. This one was for Satyagraha,with Prakash Jha and Amitabh Bachchan in attendance and a trailer with the rest of the cast,including Ankur Namak,for afters.

The first news element was the question of mass destruction,which had sparked off the Bhagwati-Sen unpleasantness scant weeks ago. Do you see Modi as PM material? Chaurasia asked. Prakash Jha parried it beautifully with: I see you as PM material. And then Chaurasia dropped the bomb,asking if Bachchan had ever made an ad supporting Modi. Pehli baar sun raha hoon, the Big B said,visibly surprised. I can show you a clip later on YouTube, said Chaurasia. He wondered if Satyagraha was inspired by Anna Hazare,but the idea apparently predates the public paroxysms of August 2011. He wondered why there was no satyagraha over food inflation. With an onion in the lead,Bachchan suggested. Bada pyaaz aur chhota pyaaz, said Jha,possibly punning on the trade names of now-deceased gangsters. Bachchan batted manfully but unlike Jha,he was not at his ease. As if he was waiting to spring out of the studio,get on YouTube and start tweeting about identity theft.

pratik.kanjilal@expressindia.com