Opinion Since it’s impossible to predict what might ‘trigger’ whom, stories of humanity — good, bad or evil — must be told anyway

Let me indulge in the lingo of today and say I find it “pathologically damaging” that an entire generation believes that watching a story on a gruesome murder should be avoided for fear of ruining the day.

Words shape culture, which is why it is worth analysing the terminology of present time. (Source: Thinkstock Images)

Leher Kala

December 11, 2022 08:55 AM IST First published on: Dec 11, 2022 at 08:07 AM IST

“Gaslighting,” meaning grossly misleading someone via psychological manipulation, is Merriam-Webster’s word of the year. Searches on its website for the word increased 1, 740% in 2022 over the previous year. In the 1944 thriller Gaslight, a woman notices weird noises from the attic and the dimming of the gas lights in her house. She wonders if she is going insane after her husband tries to convince her that it’s a figment of her imagination — and that’s where “gaslighting” has emerged from.

Words shape culture, which is why it is worth analysing the terminology of present time. “Love bombing”, “mindfulness” and “narcissistic”, so liberally thrown around now, didn’t exist in the popular lexicon five years ago. A consequence, no doubt, of the world’s post-Covid passion for self care. From #mentalhealthmatters to #feelheard, hashtags must be cleverly deployed for the right effect. While reporting on the search for Shraddha Walker’s remains, the Instagram handle of this newspaper issued a “trigger warning”. (For the uninitiated, this is the new normal pop culture protocol to protect readers too fragile to contemplate the macabre outcome of a love gone wrong.) Oh, the “trauma” (another infuriatingly overused blanket term to describe just about everything) of thinking about a severed head and limbs strewn across a forest! Turn on CNN and over tearful scenes from Ukraine, the ticker flashes “Some viewers may find this disturbing”.

The idea that adults need explicit warnings to “process” realities because some content can be upsetting is a relatively new one; by and large, the world has functioned on the premise that since it’s impossible to predict what might “trigger” whom, stories of humanity — good, bad or evil — must be told anyway. As a 4-year-old, I remember being tossed out of my classroom because I couldn’t tie my shoelaces. At 7, a nun rapped me on the knuckles with a scissor for getting a cross stitch wrong. Unpleasant? Yes. But does this memory trigger a latent “PTSD response”? I feel almost apologetic saying, hell, no. As a teenager, I was groped on a bus (routine in Delhi), but by today’s standards I experienced “sexualised violence”. These are all “adverse childhood experiences” but, frankly, trying to fill an Air Suvidha form from my phone at the LA Airport was far more traumatic.

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A wild sort of hyperbole has seeped into everyday conversation because everyone can claim to be a “survivor” of something: Bullying, a bad boss, a lousy marriage, and if you’ve had some bad luck, all three together. A previous generation shrugged this off as “life” and got on with it, but getting past routine drudgeries has somehow acquired the status equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. Of course, it’s a great thing that we’re calling out bad behaviour; discussions around assault foster awareness on setting healthy boundaries. But currently, everything about ordinary life — working, child rearing, basically adulting — is portrayed as painstakingly difficult and legitimately deserving of sympathy. Blame it on the pseudo psychology insidiously promoted on Instagram, where we’re urged to make informed choices about interacting with scary content, which may cause “a reflexive nervous system cascade”. Like anyone actually knows what that means.

Let me indulge in the lingo of today and say I find it “pathologically damaging” that an entire generation believes that watching a story on a gruesome murder should be avoided for fear of ruining the day. God help anyone trying to get through life by scrupulously turning a blind eye to horrific experiences of others. The best chance we have of making any sense of our own lives is by carefully scrutinising the craziness surrounding us: through your story, I come to see my own. Ancient wisdom passed down via philosophical and religious texts like the Bible and the Bhagawad Gita gently point to the universal truths that transcend time: that character is built by facing adversity, not by running away from it. People, our environment, and circumstances inevitably change. We have to learn to flow despite our “personal constructs”.

The writer is director, Hutkay Films

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