Life Lessons from Bridge Junkies

The unmatched combination of competition,skill and mental agility keeps them alert and energised. And with no burden of proving anything to anyone,they are able to push themselves beyond their abilities. My mother and her group of motley friends are almost demonic in their passion to win and play each round with equal vigor. No matter how unwell they may be at times,their involvement leaves no mind space to discuss these trivialities. A pain killer,an antibiotic,an emergency pump for asthma,a quick grab of the walking stick and voila…the spirit is raring to go!

So here are lessons I learned from this daring lot:

Allow them their life. At 70,they have a right to live the way they want. Alone or not. They may be ageing. But then so are we. We need to converse with them about their interests,their desires and their passions in life. Not about their ailments.

Help your parents develop a serious hobby or passion that becomes their constant companion. Loneliness is living death. Many very successful corporate heroes only live,breathe and dream their work and forget about themselves in the process. They struggle to keep themselves occupied in later years.

While it is a blessing to have parents around your children,don’t burden them with the kids. Your mother should be a naani,not a nanny. Give them time to bond with your children and don’t expect them to provide constant care in order to free you. They have done what they had to and now it is time for them to cherish the past and enjoy the present. Their way,not your way.

What surprised me most about this lot was their alertness and presence of mind. Analyse this: a mind that is constantly busy and sharp is well exercised. Bridge is a game that requires utmost concentration,predictive thinking and intense calculations of probability. Research suggests that mental games like bridge and chess keep the brain cells sharp and active,keeping dementia and Alzheimer’s at bay longer. We should develop an interest in such games early and pursue them with interest.

A social person tends to cope with stress better. The regular interaction between these bridge junkies is a great way for them to give vent to their frustrations and angst. They fight,they make up,they shout,they argue,they calm down. At the end of it all,they leave the bridge room lighter and happier. Losing or winning a game is but another reason to get back the next day for another challenge.

Dress well everyday. Not for others,but for yourself. I find it such a strain to dress beyond my track pants and tee-shirt. Walk into the bridge room and you will see positivity radiating from each one of these ladies. Dressed simply yet sharply,they convey the importance of feeling good from within and exuding the same.

We may all be too busy with our daily chores and jobs and live in the misconception that we are productive and they are wasting their time. Little do we realise that they are living life and we are not. My mother’s passion for bridge was coincidental. She had no choice but to learn the game in order to keep up with her neighbour,the Jones,during her days in the coal mines areas of Jabalpur. But it soon grew to be her source of strength at the roughest of times.

We should not wait for such chance happenings. We need to step back and rethink our lives. Not how we are living it but rather how we wish to live it. And ask ourselves this question. Are we future ready? The bridge junkies,with a twinkle in their eyes,answer my question every day at the table.