Thesis, antithesis, synthesis

“Jai Shri Ram,” said Old BJP, looking up from a copy of Panchajanya,“You have, no doubt, come to learn more about our party.”

`Ah,” I said, “You are Old BJP, aren’t you?”

“Namaskar,” said New BJP, putting down a glossy English weekly, “You are, no doubt, looking for a copy of our National Agenda.”

“Ah,” I said, “You are New BJP, aren’t you?”

“Hindutva, that’s our guiding force,” explained Old BJP emphatically.

“Ah, this is Old BJP speaking, isn’t it?” Iasked.

“Hindutva is nothing but Bharatiyata an ancient Indian tradition,” smiled New BJP.

“Ah, that is the voice of New BJP, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Hindi, Hindu, Hindustan. One nation, one people, one culture,” spat out Old BJP. “Ah, no doubt you are Old BJP,” I said.

“We don’t define Hindutva in narrow exclusivist terms. We recognise that ours is a culture made of many elements,” said New BJP.

“If I am not mistaken, that is New BJP, isn’t it?” I ventured a guess.

“Cultural nationalism constitutes the identity of this party,” said Old BJP, thumping the table lightly.

“Do I hear the voice of Old BJP?” I asked.

“Cultural nationalism we categorise within the larger perspective of integral humanism,” smiled New BJP .

“That’s certainly the voice of New BJP,” I concluded.

“It’s our ideological issues that have made this party different from all other,” said Old BJP, thumping the table heavily.

“Ah, undoubtedly Old BJP,” I thought.

“Ideological issues can take thisparty this far and no further, our emphasis will be on governance,” said New BJP, sweetly.

“Ah, New BJP, is that you?” I asked.

“The election results have totally vindicated our ideological stand it’s a vote for Hindutva,” said Old BJP, clutching at the air.

“Ah, that’s Old BJP, I presume?” I asked.

“The election results have totally vindicated the politics of consensus,” New BJP pointed out with reasonable sweetness.

“Ah, without doubt, it’s New BJP speaking,” I said.

“We will not budge an inch from our earlier commitments, especially on Ram mandir,” said Old BJP, punching the air.

“Ah, clearly, the voice of Old BJP isn’t it?” I asked.

“Compromise is the essence of coalition politics and we will concentrate on building a Rashtra Mandir,” said New BJP, beaming beatifically.

“Ah, that’s clearly New BJP speaking,” I said.

“We will immediately move a Bill for legislation on the mandir issue and end the decade-old controversy as quickly as possible, mark my words,” saidOld BJ fervently.

“Ah, this is pure Old BJP-speak,” I observed.

“We would prefer a dialogue with all communities to resolve the issue,” said New BJP.

“Ah, this is pure New BJP-speak,” I observed.

“We will defeat the designs of the pseudo-secularists,” said Old BJP, raising a right hand.

“We will defeat the designs of the pseudo-secularists,” said New BJP firmly.

“We will build up the motherland and revive nationalist fervour so that India is fully prepared to meet the challenges of the 21st century,” said Old BJP, clawing at the air.

“We will build up the motherland and revive nationalist fervour so that India is fully prepared to meet the challenges of the 21st century,” said New BJP, looking serious.

“We will make the new millennium the Indian Millennium,” said Old BJP, bringing his fist down on the table.

“We will make the new millennium the Indian Millennium,” said New BJP, looking with pride into the distance.

“Hey,” I said, “Hold on a minute. Now both of you arespeaking the same language. Will the real BJP stand up, please?”

At this, both BJPs were on their feet.

“Namaskar,” said New BJP.

“Jai Shri Ram,” said Old BJP.