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This is an archive article published on June 11, 2007

The plot is dead

The saas-bahu saga or a reality show in which ordinary people do bizarre things 8212; Indian television abandons the search for better drama

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While Tulsi Virani was tumbling to her death as a drunken truck driver lurched off a cliff and went up in flames, Gracious lay in bed contemplating how many kilos could be shed by breathing in and out. Or sleeping. After all, in a competition such as this, if by breathing faster you could drop a few grams more than Sharmila who breathed slower, that could be the difference between losing to win and simply losing.

By the time Tulsi came out of the explosion, unscathed but for a little skin discolouration around the ankles, when she should have been burnt to cinders and spared the Virani family the drama of cremating her, Gracious and Sharmila, plus the other heavyweights in the show were, turn by turn, walking water in a swimming pool lifting their own weight. Gracious frowned in concentration and with the effort: 102 kgs was a heavy load; must carry it as fast as possible and help his team win. But, here8217;s the thing: who stood to lose more 8212; Sharmila weighing 122 kilos in her unstockinged feet and carrying 122 kilo weights or Gracious at 102 carrying 102? Dunno.

And there was Suneil Shetty, producer and co-host of the show, suited and booted near a swimming pool? looking trim at what is it, 85 kilos? Not fair.

When the Virani family learnt of Tulsi8217;s death, they were stricken, but only momentarily. They knew that the Tulsi they knew would never return but like 007 said: Never Say Never Again since her deadline had been written along with her obituary: Tulsi Virani 1940-2007 at last we know someone8217;s age in these timeless shows. However, they also knew that another woman just like Tulsi Tulsii? was on her way to fill the hole, sorry role, of lead female character, maybe even rise from Tulsi8217;s ashes a common device in daily dramas and after extensive plastic surgery another bad TV habit Smriti Iraani original T will become Gautami Gadgil replacement T. And Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi will renew its wicked ways.

Meanwhile, Gracious and Co. are doing a Big Boss. First of all, they are sleeping in a Big Boss bedroom and a few of them are having problems lying down. On account of their bulky bodies and the fact that at least one contestant objects to a male and female contestant trying to lie next to one another, failing and therefore, holding on to each other for dear life. To the jaundiced eye of the contestant, they were holding each other because they wanted to. Foul.

The Biggest Loser Jeetega Sahara One is what you get if you don8217;t want Kyunki8230; That8217;s the distance between yesterday8217;s favourite and today8217;s upstart 8212; a daily soap versus a reality show about overweight people who must lose kilos in order to win the contest hence the title. Anything to entertain. Do you find heavyset individuals playing Big Brother, entertaining? Sahara One believes so. Most of us think it is slightly funny 8212; that is if we are honest and not politically correct. The fact that a show such as The Biggest Loser is on air suggests that we have abandoned the search for better drama. Instead, channels are taking the easy way out with reality shows about a bunch of ordinary human beings who will do, lose, anything to be the biggest winner. Next, there8217;ll be a show in which people must gain weight to win. The fattest will take home a fat paycheck.

A round of applause for History Rocks The History Channel. You felt young again listening to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Deep Purple, The Doors in concert. Literally, music to the ears.

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Lastly, when the temperature is soaring above the stratosphere and we are submerged in sweat, why do news anchors continue to wear jackets?

 

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