Glitzkrieg at Tamarind CourtShe's done it again. Bina Ramani, grande dame of the glitzkreig, purveyor of partytime, the hostess with the mostest, has done it again. Nine days ago in her fairytale watering hole Tamarind Court at Once Upon a Time she organised a party to truly die for and nobody has stopped talking about it ever since.It's a peculiarly Delhi thing, this social whirligig-twirligig, these rave bashes and bar nights, these theme parties for the very rich and the very bored. If this sounds like an insult to the Mumbaikars and the Bangaloreans, who have been known to shake a neat leg on occasion forgive me, but darling this is not just about film stars and race horses and money.Lots of us have money. It's not the moolah-thing. It's the who-lah thing - who you know and who you don't. And you've got to admit it, it is difficult to beat sadda Dili on the Money plus Who's Who count. Arrivistes in Bangalore and Mumbai know somewhere in the secret recesses of their conscience that theydon't really have what it takes. They realise that they don't really make the grade until they have been officially accepted on the Delhi party scene.Where else in this country can you throw a diamond and hit a union minister, or at least a union minister's grandson or, at the very least, the union minister's favourite bureaucrat or, at the very, very least, the union minister's favourite police officer? Where else can every illegality become instantly legal because the lawmakers and law enforcers are either partaking of that illegality or are just a cellphone call away? Where else does a tryst with destiny translate into a tryst in a bush?Ramani knows this better than most. She arranges her ``who's in'' and ``who's out'' trays and people rise and fall. It's a Superhuman Development Index of a kind. Four criteria form its base: Money, Connections, Power, Glamour. If you have all four attributes, life is a swim in champagne.However, not all of us are that lucky, so let's break it up bit by bit anddiscover what ticks and what doesn't. Money is a necessary but not sufficient condition to make it. If you have Money, you've got to flaunt it, knead it a bit, make it work for you until you get to be on first-term basis with Connections, Power, Glamour.Connections are necessary, but you would be only as good as a fuse box unless you learn to network with those who have Money, Glamour, Power. Of course, if you happen to be closely connected to Power, by virtue of having been parented by it, no problem whatsoever.Power by itself works like magic, even if you have very little else going for you. If you have Power, you don't need to know what foie gras is or sport an Abu Jani jacket. It's only a matter of time before you get Money and Connections - and as for Glamour, it's just waiting to climb on to your lap. Glamour is perhaps the toughest state to aspire to because it doesn't come naturally to most - for that you would need to have your names up there in the lights, you would need to be a film star,fashion designer/model, or a twenty-something in a very short black dress.Once you have arrived you have to conduct yourself with some degree of responsibility since there are established codes that are laid out. Like the Dress Code, for instance. This is usually ``Informal, but stylish (a nifty Webley Scott .22 optional)''.The bottomline always is, go ahead and have a good time, spike a coke, or snort it, as long as you don't get caught. In the unfortunate event of this happening, remember to keep your wits about you. If, for instance, the waiter disappears into the swimming pool and is discovered the next morning minus a pulse beat, approach your friendly neighbourhood SHO and have the matter end there - even if it means coughing up a few thousands. And if there is some blood on the floor, reach for the mop rightaway. Always remember, the fewer the traces of evidence, the stronger is your defence.While it's generally important to cultivate the media - they are the ones who keep you on the societypages, remember - swot them like flies when things turn rough. It's all very tacky the stuff that comes out in print, and very difficult to control.It is always advisable to carry a colour coordinated towel for later, in case you have to duck the prying camera and the nosy journalist at the courts the next day. Accessories are so important. Remember you may be down but never out of fashion. Towels in loud prints which clash with your Allen Solly's Feather Finish are bad news.Finally, don't lose heart. In time, Money, Connections, Power and Glamour will bail you out.
