Straight face

BURGER: But what is he saying, yaar, kuch samaj nahin sakta, jenaab.

BHOLA: Chief will know, yaar, he’s got English dictionary.

JS: …have taken it upon ourselves to condemn this action in the strongest, severest, most potent terms at our command and will like to remind you gentlemen that the democratically elected government of Shri Vajpayee….

DOCTOR (Saluting Chief smartly): Sir, Burger has just informed me that a top Indian official is interested in negotiating with us.
Chief displays no emotion he is a man of few words. He walks up to the open door of the Airbus to make a personal assessment of the situation.

JS:…is fully seized of the matter and has decided to take every expedient action to end this situation of impasse and terminate the hijacking….

SHANKAR: Sir, sir, what is the meaning of “expedient” sir?
Chief silences him with a look. If he knows, he is not telling.

JS:…and we have, wemay add, exerted our utmost authority, for a speedy termination of the hijacking by appealing to the international community and calling upon it to stand by the principle that this most heinous crime is a recognised crime against humanity, a most heinous one, if we may be permitted to repeat ourselves…

BURGER (the softest of the lot): Help! Arrey yaar, I can’t bear this any longer. It’s now three days, the babies are crying, the ladies are crying, the cabin smells like a sewer, we’ve not had hot kababs for five days now, and this man is unstoppable, yaar.
Chief gestures and Doctor goes for Burger’s throat with a knife in hand.

DOCTOR: For god’s sake, man, control yourself — this is only the beginning.
Burger collapses in a heap, too scared to even whimper.

JS:…and we have it on the express assurance of our good friend,philosopher and guide, Strobe Talbott, who has the ear of Bill Clinton, that the US will also spare no effort in working for an earlyresolution of the termination of the hijack…

BHOLA: Doctor, I’m feeling weakness, please help me, yaar…
Doctor rushes to Bhola’s aid and gives him a strong dose of glucose.

JS:…and we may further restate our objectives, which are two-fold, with two further sub-clauses, that our highest priority is the safe release of the 155 hostages that you have so heinously sought to displace from the loving embrace of their families…
Shankar reels under this verbal onslaught and slumps into an empty seat. Only Chief and Doctor are left to face the assault. They look at each other in desperation.

JS:…and as their elected representatives, the government of Shri Vajpayee is honour bound to decide on the proper action consistent with and in consonance with our stated principles of…

CHIEF (unable to stomach the verbal assault for much longer): Oh, chup karo usko!

JS: ..national security and we will spare no efforts to rise up to thechallenge with all the will and sinew at our command….

CHIEF (he pushes Doctor aside, pulls out his white handkerchief and waves it in surrender): Take them, take them, but, for god’s sake, shut up.
It is my considered opinion that Jaswant Singh must and should be part of any anti-hijack package that the government comes up with.