Splitting the final frontier

On the phone, Prakash Shah name changed fixes up an appointment for an interview. Sounding very confident, he agrees to meet me at the ...

On the phone, Prakash Shah name changed fixes up an appointment for an interview. Sounding very confident, he agrees to meet me at the office at 3.00 p.m. But the moment he puts the receiver down, the electricity goes off. Nothing unusual about it, but the mere coincidence of a telephone call and a power cut is enough to paralyse Prakash with fear.

Enough to make him believe that this is some 8220;political interference in my life, designed to rake up my past and threaten me.8221; So Prakash8217;s wife calls up his psychiatrist and we meet at his clinic. Prakash tells me that he does not want to 8220;name the political party8221; out to get him. Before you can even try to figure out the connection between a political party, a telephone call and an electrical failure, the doctor gently reminds you that what you are experiencing is a schizophrenic talk out his delusions.

Talking to a schizophrenic can be extremely exhausting, mentally. For every thought has to be sifted from the delusional ones. And for Prakash these delusions have been dogging his life for the past 12 years. It has been only since the past two years that he has begun to see some hope from the paralysing fears that have kept him from leading a normal life.

Says he, 8220;There have been moments when I have not gone out of the house for months on end, when I have been afraid of opening the door, afraid of talking to people. All because I suffer from these delusions.8221;

Today, despite the times when he does get an attack, Prakash can talk about his delusions. But time was when these very delusions were very real to him. Adds he, 8220;It all started when I was 30 years old. Till then I had a perfectly normal life. I had a son who was a year old and a wonderful wife and a good job with an engineering firm.

8220;But one fine day this thought stuck me that the power cuts were a plot by some political forces to expose my past and ruin me. I believed that certain television were spreading messages about my past. It may seem odd to a normal person, but to me all these feelings were very real.8221;

At that time Prakash had a job with an engineering firm and schizophrenia did not spare that as well. 8220;In eight years I changed 12 jobs. The reasons could be anything. At one time I was working as a materials manager. When I went to the factory during the year end, I realised that nine tons of steel were missing. I immediately knew that this was a plot to get me. I picked up my briefcase and immediately walked out.8221;

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This may seem like an overreaction, but Prakash had lost touch with reality. He had stopped living in the real world, perceiving events as we all normally do. To him all things that happened were part of some devious scheme that was out to get him.

Like the number three. 8220;If anyone rang the bell thrice, I would immediately connect it to that political interference. Or if anyone called out the number three, it was enough for me to get suspicious and then get panicky.8221;

Prakash went through the routine of Electro Convulsive Therapy and medications, but it was only in the last two years that he has begun to see hope for himself. That he attributes to his faith in God and the counselling sessions he received from Dr. Hemant Chandorkar. 8220;My friend took me to Aurobindo ashram and I believe it is because of mother and Chandorkar that today I am able to go out to meet people to conduct my business without interference from those horrible feelings.

8220;It8217;s not that I don8217;t get those ideas in my head now. I do, but I have learnt not to get immobilised by them. It is only now that I am discharging my duties of a husband, a father. I go to my son8217;s school to attend PTA meetings, I contribute to the household expenses, something my wife used to handle single-handedly. quot;It8217;s after a long time that I have finally felt in charge of the illness that had incapacitated me for almost 10 years.8221;