Spare the child

And spoil the parent?

Spare the rod and spoil the child. How often have I been told this by my sister, who is a teacher; by a cousin, who gives tuitions; by a grandmother who spins yarns about how father was locked in the storeroom for daring to see a movie when he was in Standard IX.

Hmm. To beat 8212; nay to lightly smack the child on the back of his or her leg 8212; or not. That8217;s the question, dear parents. With a brigade of anti-child-beaters on the prowl, I confess I am confused. Children don8217;t like being hurt. Definitely parents don8217;t like hitting their children. And, yes, research shows that inflicting physical pain causes lingering emotional hurt.

But the question remains: are adults who were not smacked as children better than the ones who have received their fair share of such attention? Psychology books propagate reward and punishment theories. Offer a chocolate, a toy or golden stars to encourage the pre-schooler. For the teenager, just understand and keep quiet 8212; don8217;t talk down on them and never ever raise your hand.

But let me tell you as a modern parent that disciplining a child today is as difficult as understanding Einstein. The no-movies/no-computer threat yields results for a week at best. After all, there8217;s always the friendly neighbour8217;s plasma TV. As for the pre-schooler, a raised voice and narrowed eyes may get him or her to behave for five minutes. And that8217;s it.

So one is left to wonder whether a light smacking really does any damage. Memories flit by of how geography teacher Mrs Albuquerque at school threatened to hit us on our knuckles if we didn8217;t remember where The Hague was, and how chemistry teacher, Mrs Godbole, loved to fling a duster at the most 8216;talkative8217; in class. Standing outside the class as punishment for day-dreaming was always welcome and the delight would be doubled if a classmate was also given the same punishment.

All that is over today. Understandably so, when child abuse cases are on the rise. Yet is the no-rebuking-children lobby taking things a bit too far? I wonder. Especially when junior insists on inserting an index finger into the electric plug. A controlled smack on the little hand would have got the message across, pronto.