Serial Thriller

Here, then, is our well-intentioned, customised-for-Kapoor guide to box-office bliss.

Remarry the virgin wife: Have a sanskari ladki, marry her to the wrong guy, let her remain a virgin, shed copious tears, and then unite her with the man she really loves. The Ganga Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi formula always works.

Duplicate films: All similarities between Kasautii Zindagi KayKZK and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai are purely intentional. As was the Gautam-Damini-Karan saga in KSBKBT, which was a tad too reminiscent of the good old Ajay Devgan-Aishwarya Rai-Salman Khan track in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.

Kill characters, then recreate them for added effect: The Mihir formula means whooping TRPs. It serves two options: The scriptwriters get some time to think of another angle and the viewers are only too happy waiting for the dead actor to be recreated. They just did it with Parvati Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, by the way. And the Kunal character of Kaahin Kissi Roz KKR has, till last count, had a triple role in the same serial.

Get amnesia: The Aggarwals of KGGK, the Viranis of KSBKBT and the Sikands of Kaahin Kissi Roz all have a genetic memory loss syndrome. At least one of their clan members suffers from convenient amnesia. Even Tulsi couldn8217;t escape the curse.

Exploit the ring tone effect: The serial theme of Kkusum is the same tune as Tere Naam. Kkoi Dil Mein Hain has the same Taal feel. While the soul track of KZK is Ajeeb Daastan Hain Yeh.

Introduce mobile phones: Every mystery in a Balaji soap is solved with the help of a cellphone. Look at the way Shruti and Aryan are making ISD calls KGGK from Australia. We won8217;t be surprised if a cellphone company decides to sponsor the shows.

Hit the fast forward button: When the story is not going ahead, forward it by 20 years. All Balaji soaps have hopped at least one generation. KZK is the latest entrant into the 8216;let8217;s move it8217; movement. Advantage: You don8217;t have to think hard.

Go with goof-ups galore: Just calculate how old Aryan should be considering that he wasn8217;t even born when Shruti was nine years old! Or the fact that after 18 years, the Virani family decided to do a DNA test on Harsh. And the Mandira Bedi-Achint Kaur face-off8212;which plastic surgeon acts like a liposuction specialist?

Make it elementary, my dear Watson: Believe it or not, this is Balaji8217;s bit for the progressive woman. Invariably, the lady of the joint household has to do some intelligent detective work to find the missing link of an important plot development.