Rain? Don146;t Ask the Met

Now there is nothing, just nothing, the Met Dept doesn8217;t know about the weather. It can tell you about low pressure troughs and high pressure troughs, about the westerlies and the northerlies, not to speak of the easterlies and southerlies. It can give you the average rainfall that the nation has experienced since the days of the battle at Kalinga.

Therefore, when it rained like it did on May 27, we asked the Met Dept whether the Monsoon had arrived. The Met Dept doubled with laughter and said, 8216;8216;Of course not, this is just the Pre-Monsoon.8217;8217; The Met Dept then consulted its screen and said, 8216;8216;The Monsoon right now is just a gleam on the Indian Ocean horizon. It will arrive in Delhi at 9 am on June 29.8217;8217; Now, when the Met Dept announces the Monsoon8217;s arrival like one would the Mumbai-Delhi Rajdhani, you8217;ve got to be impressed.

Meanwhile we reconciled ourselves to the interminable summer, with searing winds from the Rajasthan desert arriving just in time to see the Northern Grid collapse, rendering all cooling equipment into so much bric-a-brac. Frankly, the only thing that kept us going in that period was the knowledge that in Patna and Lucknow things were much worse. If we got one hour of power a day by virtue of being the Capital, Patna and Lucknow got 60 seconds. It was kind of reassuring therefore for us to realise that since no Patna-ite had vaporised into a smudge on the wall as yet, there was hope for us.

That much awaited hour of 9 am, June 29, arrived and there was actually a cloud in the sky. This made us delirious with joy as we reached for our umbrellas and brought out raincoats from old suitcases. However, the Met Dept just doubled into laughter. 8216;8216;That8217;s just your standard cloud, not the rain-bearing one,8217;8217; it chortled. Adding that the Monsoon has got delayed because it had to attend an urgent meeting with Jayalalithaa over the Cauvery issue okay, I8217;m kidding. 8216;8216;But the Monsoon will certainly be here by July 6,8217;8217; assured the Met Dept. The raincoats went back, but the umbrellas were put to good use to ward off a cheerful sun shining in a blue and happy sky.

July 6 came and went, without the skies yielding a drop of moisture, even as the Delhi electricity board gave up all pretense of being an electricity board and sleep-deprived citizens started stalking the streets in their pyjamas, crying for blood. The Met Dept then told us what we had all longed to know. 8216;8216;Any moment now it will arrive. Notice the wind direction has changed. It8217;s not the hot winds from Rajasthan but cool, rain-bearing winds from Orissa that are blowing,8217;8217; it said. It8217;s evidently raining in Jaipur, Cheerapunji, Patna, Kolkata, Srinagar and Dehra Dun, Lucknow and Bhopal. In Delhi, it8217;s bone-dry. Sure, the horizon occasionally darkens with clouds which seem to be in a great rush to reach Jaipur, Cheerapunji, Patna, Kolkata, Srinagar and Dehra Dun, Lucknow and Bhopal.

The Met Dept, fortunately, has not given up hope. By Sunday it will be raining kittens and puppies, it now tells us, although it doesn8217;t clarify whether this will be the Monsoon or the Post-Monsoon. Meanwhile, I have a suggestion for the Met Dept. All forecasts must made more accurate. Instead of stating that 8216;8216;It will rain on Sunday8217;8217;, it should say,8216;8216;On Sunday, it may or may not rain.8217;8217; That way we will have no reason to complain.

Either that, or it should say in the fashion of Met Depts the world over: 8216;8216;Tomorrow will be Muggy. Followed by Toogy, Weggy, Thurgy and Frigy.8217;8217;