People for Pluto

There is shock and horror in the interplanetary world. In a brazen assertion that might is right, the International Astronomical Union has ruled that Pluto is just not muscular enough to clear its turf of rubble. On Thursday in Prague, the Union stripped Pluto of its status as a planet. The hegemonic content of the vote is evident. Wannabes are asserting themselves in the far reaches of our solar system. Empowered by the enhanced detection technology of humans on Earth, they are lining up for membership of the planetary world. In support, they cite two criteria: they orbit the Sun, and they are sufficiently large for gravity to smoothen them into spherical shapes. The Union, in a desperate bid to retain exclusivity, has drummed up a third criterion. To be planets, goes the argument, the celestial bodies must be aggressive enough to “clear out the neighbourhood around their orbits”.

This is discriminatory in the extreme. Plutonians _ bless them, those noble souls undeterred, in their fight for justice, by the might of the IAU _ would be urgently advised to consider the judicial route. File a public interest litigation, we say. Acquire a stay against this arbitrary order. Surely it is our fundamental right as Indians to glance at the heavens above and know that there are eight more planets out yonder and so all is well with the world. Surely, those impetuous people assembled in Prague cannot demote Pluto without serving a showcause notice. They must know that they cannot tamper with our textbooks so easily. They cannot arrogate to themselves such a decision that would change the content of the science texts our children read.

And in this quest, we recommend cooperation by our natural ally, the United States. Because this demotion of Pluto is nothing less than an attempt to re-establish the pre-World War II global order. The ninth planet _ to us it shall remain a planet _ was after all discovered in 1930 by an American. Clearly, some forces inimical to America’s post-War rise are at work. Washington could consider moving a Security Council resolution.