I think I8217;m the chosen one8230; God puts you through tests like this and sees how you come out: Sanjay Dutt

Definitely jail. In jail, you are confined. The main thing is being confined. But at the rehab centre, you were not confined. You were going out, but with the counselors, as a group. They used to take you to movies, to restaurants, to the lakeside. They believe in releasing you in the world very slowly.

8226; Who were you more scared of 8212; Mom or Dad?

Dad.

8226; Not scared of Mom?

She used to love me too much.

8226; So did dad. He was a Punjabi.

He was a Punjabi. I was scared of him 8212; out of respect.

8226; Were there times Dad screamed or gave you a jhapad?

Oh yes, many times.

8226; Tell me some.

When I told him about my drug addiction. My God, he fired the hell out of me!

8226; He didn8217;t know till then?

He doubted it. He doubted something was wrong. But when I told him, that was the time he really screamed. He was very upset with me. Any wrong film I did, he used to . . .

8226; Which film did he scream at you about?

Suppose I did a guest appearance, he used to get upset. He said, 8216;Make your career first, then and start helping others.8217; Which did make sense.

8226; Was there any role he was upset about?

He was upset about Saajan.

8226; That was your first romantic film?

Yes. He couldn8217;t understand. He said, 8216;You have an action image, and what are you playing? A lame man!8217; But then, after it did well, he patted me on my shoulders.

8226; He didn8217;t think you were capable of romance?

I don8217;t know.

8226; Like you, he did romance, he could do action, dacoit roles, he could do comedy. Padosan was my favourite comedy of all time, until Munnabhai came along. I8217;d have loved to see you in something like Padosan.

We were trying to make it again.

8226; A remake of Padosan?

But we never got the rights to do it. Mehmood Saab8217;s role was to be played by Govinda, Riteish Deshmukh they were thinking of for Dad8217;s role, Bhola. Kishoreda8217;s role was me. I would have been the music teacher. And then Johny Lever Saab and all the people in the gang.

8226; Who would have played Saira Bano8217;s role?

That we never thought of. Before that, they refused to give us the rights.

8226; That could have been something.

Yes.

8226; But your father had preferences?

Initially, yes. Then eventually, he let me do what I wanted. And he just told me, 8216;Learn from your mistakes.8217;

8226; When you came out of jail, one of the most important films you did was Vaastav, which was really a gangster film. Didn8217;t your father say, 8216;You ought to be moving away from this world?8217; Didn8217;t he ask, 8216;Why are you doing it?8217;

But Vaastav, if you look at it, isn8217;t a gangster gangster film. It8217;s a film about a lower-middle class family and what happens to that family. I thought it was a brilliant subject.

8226; You had a brilliant role and got awards for that.

Yes. It has a message saying, 8216;Don8217;t go the wrong way, whatever hardships you have in life. Walk on the right path.8217; Again there8217;s talk about drugs and eventually what drugs do to a person. So there was a great message in that film.

8226; Do you see yourself in it in that role? Becoming a brand ambassador for an anti-drugs campaign? You are someone who8217;s not shy of admitting he8217;s been through that.

That8217;s what they taught me in the treatment centre. They said there8217;s nothing to be shy about saying, 8216;I was always into drugs.8217; Then you can help people. If you are running away and saying you are normal, hardly doing drugs . . . you won8217;t be able to help people. But society here is very closed . . . people don8217;t come out and say that.

8226; Here, people don8217;t even share it within families. Even families keep secrets. Nobody goes and makes a confession.

You just have to educate these people to come out in the open. It8217;s like my father told me. He said they had to educate the ladies in these small towns, in the villages, and tell them there8217;s nothing wrong in saying they have breast cancer. And there8217;s nothing wrong. It8217;s a doctor who8217;s going to check you. But society is so closed. People conceal it. That8217;s why we need to educate them.

8226; Sanjay, since we are in the past still, way back in the past, tell us a little bit about your marriage. How you met your wife. That her death was the second tragedy?

I met her here in Mumbai, and we decided to get married. And my father went and spoke to her parents, and we got married, and then she was pregnant with my baby. And I was shooting in Haryana or somewhere and she was there, and I had to come back. She8217;s got family in Delhi so she was to come back a day or two later. I was at the airport and there was an announcement, 8220;Mr Sanjay Dutt, if you are there, please come to the phone.8221; I went to the phone. Previously, she used to complain about headaches. I went to the phone and there was this doctor talking to me, asking if I could cancel my flight and come to such and such hospital. I said, 8216;For what?8217; He said, 8216;For something to do with Richa.8217; So I went there, running to the hospital. She was in the scan machine, and he showed me . . . that she8217;s got brain cancer.

8226; I8217;ve seen those scans my mother had . . .

Really?

8226; At a very young age, 36, and it doesn8217;t give you much chance after that.

It doesn8217;t. We flew her to Mumbai, and we flew her out to New York, where her parents were. And she was in the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Hospital, and one thing I can tell you: she was tough. I hope, and God bless her, I hope she is happy where she is. I8217;ve never seen a tougher person than her. Never.

8226; Tougher than your Mom? Your Dad wasn8217;t tough, I know. He just looked tough.

No, no, she was tough. Going through three operations in the head, chemotherapy, and yet with a smile on her face. That was the amazing part.

8226; And you had a baby?

And I had a baby. And unbelievable! Right till the end, when she passed away also, she my wife had that glow!

8226; Not many people we know who have been in the public domain have been through such rough times. And who have been through such bad times as you.

I think I8217;m the chosen one. I think God puts you through tests like this and sees how you come out of it. I feel it is my destiny to go through it and I have to face it.

n You are a great advertisement for God and destiny, because you get the best and you get the worst. Sometimes in quick succession. How does a growing man handle it?

I believe in destiny.

8226; Your life has been like the Indian cricket team!

You don8217;t have to say that . . . not right now laughs!

8226; So how does one handle these roller-coaster rides?

I think you should just take it in your stride, just learn, instead of brooding over it.

8226; But you do brood.

Sometimes.

8226; You have brooding eyes, I know.

Laughs I think you should just learn from life.

8226; Have there been times when you were angry with God? Times you said, 8216;What the hell!8217;

Yeah, of course, I was angry with God. I used to say, 8216;Why me?8217; But 8216;Why me?8217; doesn8217;t solve the problem. It8217;s better to have God on your side than to fight with him.

8226; Then Munnabhai happens, and again people line up to pray for you, support you. Then you don8217;t say, 8216;Why me?8217;

Absolutely.

8226; So how do you take the damage, the stress, the tension?

To be honest, I really don8217;t know how I manage it. I used to think, initially, my mother sitting up there, does all the damage control. And my father now. I think they are both out there. Their blessings are with me. I really don8217;t know.

8226; And your sisters bully you? They keep you in check?

No, they are very good sisters. I am really proud of Priya. She8217;s stepped into Dad8217;s shoes, and the kind of work she is doing! She8217;s really doing well and I am so proud of her!

8226; Take us back to your childhood. You were in boarding school. I thought we would do this shoot in Sanawar, but we could not figure out the dates. You were away from the family. There were always interesting times for the family. But tell us about the times when you were there and the family wasn8217;t.

Well, initially, when Mom and Dad came and dropped me, for two or three days I was upset at being torn from my parents. But then, you know how boarding schools are. You make friends and then . . .

8226; I believe you were given a rough time in school initially . . . ragging?

No, no ragging. It was what every senior would do to a junior, nothing special.

8226; Was it tough being a celebrity kid? Your parents were mega-celebrity.

No, it wasn8217;t tough. There was no exception given to me. Neither from the teachers nor from students. If I was a junior, I was a junior like all the juniors. So, what all the juniors used to get, I used to get. But then when we became seniors, we did the same thing to the juniors. But school was just amazing. That is one of the best decisions my parents took. They said, 8216;Send him to Sanawar and make a man out of him.8217; It was great. The friends we make in school, we may not meet them everyday, but we8217;re always there for each other.

8226; You8217;re still in touch with them?

I8217;m still in touch with them.

8226; So when did films happen?

Films happened after I came back from school. When I was in college. At that time I told Dad I was interested.

8226; And given the way you are built, and that you were Sunil Dutt8217;s son, dishum-dishum was the natural way to go, wasn8217;t it?

Yes. Rocky. What Dad had planned was, I should do it all in one go. There was romance, there was music, there was fighting, comedy 8212; if you have seen Rocky. It was him telling people, 8216;My son can do all this.8217;

8226; Funnily, while your Dad had this image of a tough guy, because he was a well-built Punjabi, some of his most memorable roles were either comedies like Padosan or very soft, romantic roles like Milan.

Yes.

8226; And yet you took some time graduating to romance.

I took some time laughs. At that time action used to work. The hero hitting 15-20 people, the villains, usually with one strike. And all those dialogues 8212; 8216;Mein tujhe jaan se maar daaloonga.8217;

8226; So what8217;s your high point from that period? What are your favourite movies from that period?

There was a movie called Jaan Ki Baazi. Mera Haq, Naam-o-Nishan, Taakatwar . . . these kind of movies.

8226; And then Saajan happened.

And then Naam, which was another turning point in my life. Then Sadak, Saajan.

8226; And you were able to take that whole rehab phase in your stride. And so did the industry. So did your fans.

Yes, yes.

8226; And when did the fun phase happen? I know David Dhawan happened. You did some slapstick comedies with him. Tell us a little bit about how Munnabhai happened and why?

Munnabhai . . . actually I have done . . . Vinod Chopra is more like family to us. Now, he8217;s very close to our family, close to my father and very close to all of us.

8226; One of the most creative people.

Yes, I did a film with him called Mission Kashmir. And we became very close. I told him I want to work in your movies, even if it8217;s just one shot. I said, 8216;You must take me.8217; So he called me for Munnabhai. And he said, 8216;Go and read the script.8217; I read the script and it was about a gangster who wants to become a doctor. I told him, 8216;I will do it.8217; But I really never thought Munnabhai MBBS would be what it became. And once I saw the film, I realised what a great film he had made. And Munna and Circuit are here to stay.

8226; Like James Bond, many people will play Munnabhai in times to come.

God willing, yes.

8226; There have been five James Bonds by now.

Yes.

8226; And the language in Munnabhai came from Rajkumar Hirani?

Yes. It8217;s like that of a gangster in Mumbai, how he would speak. And he spoke that language even in school. That8217;s the nice part of it.

8226; You didn8217;t feel shy playing a gangster, given the fact that you still had an ongoing case and had complications in life?

Munnabhai is not a gangster. He8217;s a lovable man. He solves people8217;s problems. And I think it8217;s brilliant. And there8217;s such a big message in every Munnabhai.

8226; Do you believe in Gandhigiri?

I have always believed in Gandhigiri.

8226; How?

Like non-violence, peace, shanti. And Gandhigiri became famous because of Lage Raho Munnabhai. Otherwise, everyone would have forgotten what Gandhiji said.

8226; Have you had tough times in your career, in terms of cinema?

Yes. Doing wrong films, you get a series of flops. Your market goes down. You8217;ve got to struggle again. It8217;s a struggle for us every Friday when a movie releases. I have gone through lean phases, when my movies have not done well. I have been sitting at home and trying to work. And a movie comes up, if it8217;s interesting you do it. You are back in the race again.

8226; Who have been your friends in terms of cinema? Who8217;s gone along with you. Mahesh . . .

Mahesh Manjrekar, Vinod Chopra, Rajkumar Hirani, Sanjay Gupta. In fact, I8217;m doing a very interesting film with him Gupta, in which I8217;m playing the main lead. It8217;s called Shootout at Lokhandwala.

8226; Right. It8217;s about ACP Khan8217;s famous incident where Dawood8217;s gang members were killed.

I8217;m playing ACP Khan. It8217;s a very interesting film.

8226; Right now encounters are big news as well.

Absolutely.

8226; Again, this amazes me. You8217;re not shy of doing a film like that?

But I am playing a . . .

8226; Your lawyer would have told you, 8216;For 10 years, nothing to do with gangsters.8217; Haven8217;t any lawyers told you that?

I work, I8217;m working, I8217;m acting. So it8217;s nothing to do with gangster. And in Shootout at Lokhanwala, I8217;m playing a police officer, A.A. Khan.

8226; He8217;s a good cop.

Yes, a good cop.

8226; In such an interesting life 8212; many others would at least wish to have just half of your interesting life, and not the other half 8212; tell me some of the fun moments and some of the difficult moments, not a phase.

Telling my father, 8216;I8217;m on drugs.8217; It was a terrible moment for me. Just to go and tell him I was on drugs. When I was arrested, my father seeing handcuffs on me 8212; that was very painful for him.

8226; Tell us some great moments.

My father saw Munnabhai MBBS, and he was very shy to say, 8216;I love you.8217; So he called me one day, sitting there sipping his wine. He looks at me and says, 8216;You8217;ve become a great actor.8217;

8226;After Munnabhai MBBS.

8216;I8217;m proud of you.8217; He gave me a hug and said, 8216;I love you son.8217;

8226; That was the jadoo ki jhappi.

That was a great moment. And I bet he would have done it with Lage Raho Munnabhai also. Because he heard the script and he was very happy.

8226; You have regrets in life?

One of them is that you take your parents for granted. And I feel I should have spent more time with my Mom. That8217;s what my mother used to say. 8216;One day, when I8217;m gone, you will realise.8217; She was absolutely right. Even with Dad. I got so busy with work, and he was busy being sports minister. I hardly used to see him. And these are massive regrets. I could have spent more time with them.

8226;That8217;s also a regret parents have with their children. Do you get enough time with your daughter?

I do, whenever I can. She comes down here. When I go shooting somewhere out of the country, I call her down. We spend a lot of time together.

8226; Does she bully you?

She bullies me. What I8217;m proud of is that she8217;s in the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. She8217;s doing forensic science. She8217;s worked with the FBI and with the government, which is very good. And it8217;s very tough to get into a college like that. And her grades are all very good.

8226; Tell me Sanjay, when you reflect backwards, are there things you could have done differently? Nobody can change fate.

I could have done things differently. Meaning, in boarding school, breaking rules is a must. We learn that in boarding school. I could have been more careful, could have listened to my parents. All these things are very important.

8226; What do you look forward to now?

I just look forward to a peaceful life, just being with my family, doing a lot of great work, great charity . . . what my father used to do. Be at peace.

8226; Looking at you, I can see calm on your face. Bye, and all the very best.