Fortune does not smile

The well-known business magazine finds everything wrong with Generation Y

They8217;ve got the tattoos, they8217;ve got the piercings, they8217;ve got the BlackBerry in one hand and the half-caf mocha latte in the other and an iPod plugged into their ears. Sure, they always look busy, but if you sneak up behind them in their cubicles8212;which isn8217;t hard, because that iPod is blaring Maroon 58212;you find they8217;re actually watching YouTube videos while instant-messaging with four of their tattooed, pierced pals.

What the hell is a corporate boss supposed to do with these cockamamie Generation Y kids? That8217;s the question that Fortune magazine tries to answer in its Gen Y cover story, which is called 8220;Manage Us? Puh-leeze.8221; The subtitle gives you an idea of what8217;s inside: 8220;Today8217;s twentysomethings have their own rules. You just don8217;t understand them :-.8221;

When America8217;s premier business mag touts a pop sociology story with a smiley-face emoticon, you know you8217;re in for a deep blizzard of baloney.

Generation Y is the media term for people born between 1977 and 1995. Of course, it8217;s a complete fiction: all Americans between the ages of 12 and 30 are no more alike than all Jews or all Asian-Americans or, for that matter, all Latvian lesbian taxidermists. But birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, magazines gotta run generalisations about generations.

Here8217;s how Fortune portrays Gen Y: 8220;At once a hipster and a climber, he is all nonchalance and expectation. He is new, he is annoying8230;Gen Y sometimes seems to share one over-stimulated brain, and it8217;s often tuned to something featuring Lindsay Lohan.8221; And this: 8220;They8217;re ambitious, they8217;re demanding and they question everything.8221; And: 8220;self-absorbed, gregarious, multitasking, loud, optimistic, pierced.8221;

Wait a minute. Ambitious, demanding, self-absorbed, loud, optimistic: aren8217;t those the qualities that European snobs have mocked about Americans for 200 years? Does this mean that the only thing new about Gen Y is Lindsay Lohan and piercing?

Back in April 1969, when the baby boomers were entering the job market, Fortune depicted them as spoiled and demanding. Now, Fortune depicts Gen Y as spoiled and demanding: 8220;They8217;re really not that into work8230; They often need an entire team8212;and a couple of cheerleaders8212;to do anything.8221; 8220;When it comes to loyalty,8221; Fortune complains about Gen Y, 8220;the companies they work for are last on their list8212;behind their families, their friends, their communities, their co-workers and, of course, themselves.8221;

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Well, good for Gen Y! Given the performance of American corporations lately8212;the layoffs, the rip-offs, the accounting scandals, the outsourcing8212;what rational human would put loyalty to his company over loyalty to himself and his family?
Peter CarlsonLAT-WP