Bollywood boulevard

AT a first-day-first-show screening of Om Jai Jagadish at Eros cinema last week, producer Rohit Kumar, sitting exactly one row ahead of me w...

AT a first-day-first-show screening of Om Jai Jagadish at Eros cinema last week, producer Rohit Kumar, sitting exactly one row ahead of me was guffawing through the film, making snide remarks about the poor performances of the actors, and the boring nature of the film. True, the film was a colossal disappointment, but perhaps Mr Kumar needs to go into flashback mode. Just a few months ago, his own film Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage, was unanimously dubbed one of the worst films to hit the screens in recent times. Who can forget the shoddy direction, the third-class production values and above all, Amisha Patel8217;s joke of a performance? It was also, as many of you would remember, Hrithik Roshan8217;s biggest disaster. How Mr Kumar can sit and make jokes at another film when his own last production was such an embarrassment, is beyond me8230;

But who are we fooling? Everybody does it in Bollywood. Ramgopal Varma is in the habit of dissecting every prominent release and explaining how he would have avoided the same mistake, were he directing the film. Then you have those who8217;ll say nice things on the outside and tear you apart behind closed doors. I8217;m reminded of my meeting with Subhash Ghai a few days before the release of Yaadein. During our conversation at his Andheri studio, we were interrupted by a call on his phone from David Dhawan who had, apparently, just returned from a preview of Yaadein. As if to give me an idea of the positive reactions the film was generating even from preview audiences, Ghai switched on the speakerphone and let me in on all of Dhawan8217;s gushing. The Hero No 1 director raved and raved about Ghai8217;s film, describing Hrithik8217;s performance in it as his best ever. He complimented Ghai on an excellent music score and predicted that Yaadein would go on to become a big moneyspinner.

A week from that day, I ran into David Dhawan at his editing studio where, in between discussing the weather and his own next film, we began discussing Yaadein. Oblivious, of course, to the fact that I was privy to his conversation with Ghai the previous week, Dhawan revealed his true feelings about Ghai8217;s film. Describing it as a 8216;8216;total waste of time8217;8217;, Dhawan said Hrithik wasn8217;t even directed correctly. Perhaps he was so engrossed in his diatribe against the film that he didn8217;t see my jaw drop in complete shock8230;

So many heroines will bitch about each other behind their backs, then exchange polite nothings and smile for pictures when they run into them at parties. Actors will give each other bear-hugs and will guzzle Scotch together at mahurats and premieres, but will constantly make digs about their colleagues when you lend them a patient ear. Double standards, bad upbringing, superficiality8230; It8217;s Bollywood, for heaven8217;s sake.

That8217;s why they can8217;t take brutal criticism or honest reviews. That8217;s why Sanjay Bhansali will sulk when you say Devdas is a disappointment. That8217;s why Kareena Kapoor will ignore you if you say she8217;s arrogant and snooty. They8217;d much rather hear you say nice things to them, no matter what you really feel.