Are you a people pleaser? Here’s how to break away from this habit

Who is a people pleaser?

Elucidating the causes, the expert explained that sometimes people who have been mistreated or abused decide to please the people who harmed them in the hope of better treatment. People please others also because it can help them “cope with situations your well-being or survival depends on,” she added.

Consequences

The doctor said that people pleasers are so ‘other-focused’ that their sense of self does not fully develop. “People pleasing has you living for others, without truly knowing yourself,” she added. It can lead to self-abandonment as “you tend to lack a sense of who you are outside of those around you,” the expert explained.

The other consequences the expert listed include–“the people who are supposed to be closest to you may not even really know you,  being too nice, lacking boundaries, saying yes to things you are not comfortable with, and accepting poor treatment, and abuse.”

Some signs of a people pleaser

*Feel guilt by saying ‘no’. You often give up your needs to make others happy.

 *Being too nice and struggling with boundaries.

 *Avoid conflict at all costs.

 *Being constantly concerned about what others think of you.

 *You feel responsible for the emotional reactions of others.

 *You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

 

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 *You are always apologising even if it’s not your fault.

 *You feel burdened by all you have to do.

 *You change how you act based on the people around you.

 *You are suppressing anger, sadness, or other negative emotions.

 How you can tackle the habit of people pleasing

* Get to know what you like. Take yourself out on dates, and explore your preferences and desires.

*Get in touch with your body. Start allowing yourself to express and feel your emotions as this can guide you back to yourself.

* Practice saying ‘no’ and expressing your needs.

*Learn how to sit with uncomfortable feelings or communicate uncomfortable things.

*Positive self-talk. Become your own biggest supporter.

*Heal your inner child who carries the emotional trauma from your childhood.

* Rewire negative self-belief systems.

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