‘Not sensible to publicly shame a 10-year-old or lead social media debate’: Why experts want you to stop trolling Class 5 KBC contestant who sounded ‘overconfident’, dismiss parenting fail observations

Bachchan can be seen reacting with his usual sigh amid applause from the studio audience. The boy whizzed through the first four questions and can be heard saying, “options ke bina bol raha hun (I can tell you the correct answer without options)” before answering incorrectly on the fifth and the first level of the contest, which would have earned him Rs 25,000. Bachchan, on his part, said in the episode, “Sometimes, in a hurry, children tend to make mistakes when they get overconfident.”

After the episode was aired, the Internet lost its cool and many took to X to vent their frustration at the school boy’s “disrespectful” behaviour, and even called out his parents for their parenting style, claiming it “failed”.

One X user wrote, “This Ishit Bhatt is not only insolent, but arrogant. Seeing his parents sitting there SMILING at his disrespect for an octogenarian, one understands instantly where the poor upbringing stems from (I refer to the PARENTS’ upbringing as well)! The “bacha hai” gang needs to introspect!”

Another user wrote, “Even rudeness comes at a price. When children start crossing the line, their parents must be given some parenting lessons. The parents of this child clearly failed to understand the difference between confidence and arrogance, and that’s where they fell short of their responsibility.”

However, yet another pointed out that it’s a lesson for life. “Life is a journey of lessons. Ishit Bhatt has confidence, and now he must learn patience. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes; I’ve seen his in KBC, which are common to all. I wish he’d make more mistakes early in childhood to avoid regrets later. Best of Luck & keep learning.”

As the kid and his parents continue to draw backlash on social media, we ask psychologists and behavioural experts whether it is parenting gone wrong, or does it mirror a society that has not even spared a child?

What may have happened and how was it interpreted?

One incident is not enough to define the behaviour of the child. “Several children mimic attitudes they see online to be rewarded as cool”. On a high-pressure show like KBC, it’s normal for a child to forget boundaries of assertiveness or rudeness. In other terms, impulsivity is not the same as overconfidence or rudeness. It is normal for a child to be impulsive given the circumstances, like a money-winning TV show,” described Subhash H J, counsellor and mental health educator, Vasavi Hospitals, Bengaluru.

What many interpreted as “arrogance” could simply be nervous energy, overconfidence born from excitement, or the pressure of being on national television. “Sitting in front of a renowned superstar like Amitabh Bachchan can be quite overwhelming – not just for a child, but it is often even for an adult. In a situation like KBC, excitement along with anxiety can make a child operate from impulse rather than thoughtful self-control. The child is just 10, who is still learning about how to operate in social environments. He/she is learning to regulate feelings and become aware of social cues,” contended Namrata Jain, psychotherapist and relationship expert.

What looks like “attitude” to some is often a child performing for the world they’ve grown up in, described Delnna Rrajesh, psychologist, and relationship life coach. “What adults label as arrogance may sometimes be a developmental stage or an unstructured expression of emotion,” said Delnna.

What led to the trolling?

Here lies the tension: in India, cultural expectations and judgment around “respecting elders” are deeply ingrained. “So when a child challenges or breaks that expected decorum on national television, it triggers public judgment far more intensely than it might in other societies. It’s more like a judgment on parenting or a test for the parent,” described Delnna.

Why was the trolling and hate uncalled for?

The concerning part isn’t a child’s confidence or overconfidence, it is the amount of hate directed at him, said Dr Mona Gujral, chief psychologist, Coto. “Had the same child won in the programme, these same trolls would have been praising his confidence and the confident parenting behind it,” described Dr Gujral.

On one hand, it shows increasing confidence of the youth, said Dr Samir Dalwai, developmental behavioural pediatrician, New Horizons CDC and Research Foundation, who stressed that many have otherwise been conditioned not to do what they like and to only conform to elders, that has its own unfortunate consequences. “On the other hand, being able to regulate behaviour (age appropriately) as to respect the rights of others and to not offend others unnecessarily is also a vital learning that needs to be ingrained early,” said Dr Dalwai.

Is social media trolling too harsh in this case? (Photo: Freepik)

Was it a lack of emotional regulation?

Kruti Sharma, corporate trainer, leadership coach, POSH & AML expert, called it “a sign of lacking guidance and emotional self-regulation”. “At that age, children are still developing impulse control, empathy, and social judgment. When boundaries are not set at home — or when respectful listening is not modelled — children may overstep in ways that alienate others,” said Sharma.

Was it a ‘parenting fail’?

Experts urge that it is unfair to blame parents for this, or be too harsh on expecting the child to be perfect. “Some things we learn through experience and experiential learning and not through books or advice,” said Jain.

However, according to Sharma, this behaviour reflects more on “parenting than on the child” as it suggests an environment where the child is encouraged to speak without discipline or taught that attention is the paramount goal.

To correct this, caregivers should teach the value of listening, humility, and respect for others’ turn to speak, asserted Sharma. “What might look like ‘confidence’ can easily tip into rudeness without proper grounding. In public forums, children must be coached to balance enthusiasm with decorum,” said Sharma.

How faceless social media trolling affects young children, families

When a young person becomes the target of online trolling and ridicule, it can leave lasting psychological scars, pointed out Dr Gujral. “Public humiliation at such a formative age can distort self-esteem, create anxiety, and instill fear of self-expression,” said Dr Gujral.

Before we rush to judge this child, let’s ask a different question. Do we often come across parents posting videos of children talking like adults, using sensitive or abusive words, coming out too “swag”, giving replies that sometimes seem witty and sometimes careless? And many of us like, praise, and share them. “Don’t these videos mislead children that being ruthless is cool or that rudeness gets attention”? Simply, children are being insensitively rewarded for rudeness on social media with likes and appreciation. What does that mean to that child or another child that senses such a video being appreciated by their parents?” asked Subhash.

What needs to be done

Raising confident children is every parent’s aspiration. “But raising confident and emotionally intelligent children requires conscious calibration,” said Delnna, who shared that she often stresses that confidence without containment can feel like chaos to the outside world. “Confidence gives a child the courage to speak. Containment teaches when and how to express it. Empathy helps them understand the impact of their words on others,” added Delnna.

What parents can do

Parenting plays a key role in shaping these responses. Setting consistent boundaries while validating a child’s feelings helps them learn patience and social balance. Dhara Ghuntla, psychotherapist and independent practitioner, affiliated with Sujay Hospital, 7 Hills Hospital, Criticare Hospital, said that if such patterns persist across situations — like frequent interrupting, difficulty following instructions, or poor frustration tolerance — it may “reflect gaps in emotional regulation or, in some cases, signs of neurodivergence such as ADHD or autism spectrum traits”.

“If parents notice persistent behavioural or attention concerns, early evaluation and timely professional intervention can make a significant difference in supporting the child’s development and emotional well-being,” said Dhara.

This delicate balance is not taught in schools or textbooks. “It’s modelled at home, through how we speak to our children, how we let them speak to us, and how we guide them without shaming their spirit,” Delnna said.

What do we as a society need to learn from this episode?

It is important to check ourselves as society or television operators, whether we disproportionately highlight these scenes for TRP and entertainment, stressed Subhash. “Would our narrative be the same if he were overconfident and still won the money? Then how many parents would say “Look at him and learn, so confident and smart yaar”…! As adults and society, we have given out extremely wrong narratives to children about the ideas of confidence, swag, cool, and whatnot,” described Subhash.

We as a collective society are responsible for maintaining it, not a single parent/family. Emotional Intelligence, empathy, and containment have to be practiced as a society for us to be able to expect kids to model it right,” Delnna.

As adults, we need to model empathy, emphasised Dr Gujral. “Instead of labelling or shaming, we can ask: What might this child be feeling? How can we teach respect and humility without destroying confidence?” Concurring, Subhash asserted, “It’s not sensible to publicly shame a ten-year-old beyond proportion and lead a social media debate.”

Here’s what you can do (Photo: Freepik)

“Sometimes such incidents can lead to bullying in schools, internalised guilt, hampered self-worth, or self-esteem. I don’t know how little the child’s behaviour on the show has impacted Amitabh Bachchan, but our comments can definitely impact the boy negatively, and let’s be mindful about it,” Subhash said.