‘He vanished every night around 7-8 pm’: Private detective uncovers man dating three women at once and manipulating them for money; how emotional deception can shatter trust

The findings were shocking. “So there were three girls at a time. One was the ex, one was the present whom he was in a live-in relationship, and the third was this girl, who, you know, was the third one,” the detective said. What made it worse was how the man used emotional manipulation for personal gain despite doing well for himself financially. “Yeah. And he would actually take money from this ex-girlfriend on the pretext of ‘I’m not doing so well and I need money.’ He would use that money, give gifts to the girl whom he was living with.”

Emotional and psychological effects of betrayal

Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “Discovering that a partner has been leading multiple relationships can trigger intense emotional distress, including feelings of humiliation, anger, confusion, and deep grief. Psychologically, it often leads to cognitive dissonance — the painful conflict between what one believed and what is revealed to be true.”

She adds that victims may question their judgment and experience a loss of self-trust, which can evolve into hypervigilance or fear of intimacy in future relationships. Recovery begins with self-validation — accepting that the deception was not their fault. Re-establishing trust requires gradual exposure to safe and transparent relationships, therapy for emotional regulation, and rebuilding self-esteem through self-compassion and boundaries.

What drives emotional exploitation

Exploitative behaviour of this kind often stems from personality structures marked by narcissistic or antisocial traits, where empathy is compromised and relationships are viewed transactionally. Such individuals may derive a sense of power or validation through manipulation.

“However, not all such cases are purely narcissistic; some may be rooted in unresolved attachment insecurities or chronic inadequacy, leading the person to seek control or affirmation from multiple partners. Psychologically, this behaviour reflects emotional immaturity and a lack of internal moral regulation, where gratification and ego take precedence over accountability,” notes Gurnani. 

Early red flags and self-protection

Common early red flags, according to Gurnani, include inconsistency in stories, defensiveness when questioned, frequent “unavailability,” and overcompensating charm — often called love bombing. Another sign is subtle emotional gaslighting, where the partner makes one doubt their instincts or perceptions. Financial manipulation or emotional guilt-tripping are further indicators of control dynamics. 

“To protect mental well-being, individuals should trust intuitive discomfort, maintain emotional independence, and document patterns rather than isolated incidents. Seeking perspective from trusted friends or a therapist can help maintain clarity. Most importantly, setting non-negotiable boundaries early prevents deeper emotional entanglement when deceit is involved,” suggests the expert. 

 

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