Bee For and After

“I wanted to send out a simple message through my film,not to judge others,” says UK-bred Khan. The film also explores some of the possible factors of GID (Gender Identity Disorder) such as the absence of a male figure in Charlie’s life and female tendencies as a child. “The exact cause of gender dysphoria is unknown and there’s a lot of controversy surrounding it. Some say it’s a biological or a medical problem that is corrected through surgery,and others say it’s psychological,” says Khan. Charlie feels very differently. “A lot of people would say that it was just a state of mind. But it was more than that. It was all there,in my body. For me,it was a matter of life and death,” he says in the film.

In the end,Charlie emerges as Bee after a hormone treatment and a vaginoplasty procedure (a Sex Reassignment Surgery ). “I was so happy after the op. I felt as if I’d been given a new lease of life,almost as if I was born again,in the right way,in the right body. I was me,” says Bee.

Before I Was Me was released in 2009 and has travelled to the Cannes Film Festival,besides other cities. The film found great support in Beirut,where it was screened by Helem,an LGBT organisation,as well as at the Lebanese American University and Saint Joseph University. Jordan however received the film very differently. “The society in Jordan is not too liberal and not too conservative which means the tolerance level for LGBT individuals is relatively low,” says Khan,who is more optimistic about her visit to India. “I hope I get a positive reception in the world’s largest democracy.” She is currently in talks with the Films Division of India and the British Council for the film.

debjani.paul@expressindia.com