Opinion In 21st century Punjab, women are still killed for a ‘crime’ called love
Girls in Nanak’s land are still being killed, in the wombs and outside. Inside, so that they are not born to live. And outside, so that they do not live to love.
In 2019, when the world is celebrating Guru Nanak Dev’s 550th birth anniversary and his teachings of tolerance and equality, the daughters of this land are still not free to love. (Representational image)
The 24-year-old bride had chooda (bangles) on her wrists, marriage documents in her hands and two security guards by her side. Yet, her voice trembled with fear. In Tarn Taran, Punjab, where another couple who solemnised a love marriage was shot dead a day before, I interviewed this young couple who feared for their lives from the girl’s family who had allegedly murdered three members of the boy’s family.
“How did you both meet and fall in love?” I asked her. A blush broke her tense expression, but before she could answer, a villager interrupted. “Yes, yes please tell them how and when both of you hatched this conspiracy to exterminate both the families.” Tears rolled down her guilt-filled eyes.
How can two people who love each and want to live together “conspire” to finish their own families?
This is not the first time I have encountered this riddle. A few months ago, the subjects of two of my reporting assignments kept crisscrossing each other in my mind. From the 15th century to 21st, there have been striking similarities.
I could see Heer, a young woman from 15th century Punjab, in Jaswinder Kaur Sidhu, alias Jassi, a 25-year-old Punjabi woman from Canada. Jassi, a lively 20th-century woman, was murdered by contract killers at the behest of her mother and uncle, because she married her love, Mithu. Heer was poisoned by her family because she dared to confess her love for Ranjha at a time when women did not have a voice.
And now, Amanpreet of Tarn Taran, mercilessly shot dead. Punjab’s so-called saga of progress will remain incomplete until it stops killing its daughters for a “crime” called love.
In 2019, when the world is celebrating Guru Nanak Dev’s 550th birth anniversary and his teachings of tolerance and equality, the daughters of this land are still not free to love.
Ironically, Sikh gurus held women in the highest regard. Guru Nanak wrote: “From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. Woman becomes his friend, through woman the future generations come. When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound. So why call her bad? From her, kings are born. From woman, woman is born; without woman there would be no one at all.”
The third Sikh guru, Amar Das, was against the use of veil by women (purdah) and also wrote against Sati. Sikhism also allowed remarriage of widows as a practical solution to end Sati. My respect for Sikhism grew manifold when I learnt that it does not bar menstruating women from entering gurdwaras. This practice has refused to leave Hinduism and women like me have grown up being barred from touching holy books, idols, pickles or even sitting in the temple during puja. As a child, I did not argue. But now at 29, when I demand a rationale, I do not get one.
The Sikh marriage ceremony ‘Anand Karaj’ is based on the teaching of Guru Amar Das, who describes marriage as a ‘union of two souls’ not merely bodies. “They are not said to be husband and wife who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who share one soul, one light in two bodies,” he wrote.
‘Honour Killings in India: A Study of the Punjab State’ by Satnam Singh Deol of the political science department of Guru Nanak Dev University, studied a hundred honour killings from 2005 to 2012. It found that these were most prevalent among Jat Sikhs, the dominant community. While inter-caste marriage was the reason for the crime in 44 per cent of the cases, the family of the girl simply couldn’t tolerate her relationship or her marriage with a boy from the same village in 56 per cent of the cases. In 64 per cent cases, the girl’s father was among the accused and in 36 per cent, her brothers.
It is said that for a Punjabi, his anakh (pride or honour) is everything. But increasingly, anakh manifests only in honour killings. These barbaric acts are the greatest crime in the eyes of Nanak, who did not approve of killing even the smallest living being.
Girls in Nanak’s land are still being killed, in the wombs and outside. Inside, so that they are not born to live. And outside, so that they do not live to love.
This article first appeared in the print edition on October 28, 2019 under the title ‘How Dare She?’.
The author can be reached at d.goyal@expressindia.com
Share
