Opinion Better never than late

In Delhi, if you invite someone for dinner at 8.30, they’ll show up at 9.30 without an apology. If you ask what made them late, they have no answer.

Having said that, it’s doubtful that Bommai had, like some wild Hollywood icon of yesteryears, a well-thought-out plan to make a grand entry by sweeping in last. (Express Photo)

Leher Kala

March 5, 2023 02:27 PM IST First published on: Mar 5, 2023 at 07:20 AM IST

Swedish tennis legend Björn Borg, who was in Bengaluru recently, walked out of a ceremony meant to honour him after the chief guest, Karnataka Chief Minister Basavaraj Bommai, didn’t show up at the appointed hour. According to reports, the CM arrived 45 minutes late but took it in his stride when informed that the accomplished sports legend, like the famed proverb about time and tide, waits for no man.

A quick glance through the book The Swedish Toolkit reveals that Swedes are rigidly punctual and if they’re more than three minutes late, they inform their meeting partner via SMS. A VIP getting stood up in this country is a rare occurrence; chuckle-worthy, sure, except it’s also true that almost all Indians are chronic latecomers.

Being fashionably late was a thing, perhaps, in the 1990s. It’s still acceptable in some professions. One sort of understands if Keith Richards wants to keep the audience waiting before a Rolling Stones concert — a dependable vibe doesn’t gel with his image. Besides, a conformist rockstar sounds like a dreadful bore, not worth listening to. For everyone else, lateness is just tardy.

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Having said that, it’s doubtful that Bommai had, like some wild Hollywood icon of yesteryears, a well-thought-out plan to make a grand entry by sweeping in last. Most of us simply miscalculate time. Some dilly dally and can’t get themselves together to get on with it, while others blunder while anticipating how long it’ll take to reach their destination, despite Google Maps. We remain illogically optimistic about all we can cram in and that’s why Delhi roads are always chaotic. Everyone’s rushing around in a mad panic largely because they were shockingly lazy about their departure.

In Delhi, if you invite someone for dinner at 8.30, they’ll show up at 9.30 without an apology. If you ask what made them late, they have no answer. One hour here or there is culturally acceptable, so it is difficult to even gauge what lateness is anymore. Timeliness, rather the lack of it, is a source of great conflict in a marriage because typically, one person is still shuffling around while the other is out of the door. A couple I know, have entered and exited parties separately for years to avoid fighting over this, following the very wise principle of you-do-you-I’ll-do-me. It’s a waste of resources but we all have to pick our battles and one’s sanity takes precedence over the environment.

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Perpetual stragglers may take solace in the fact that many great achievers too struggle to meet deadlines. Bill Clinton is a famous procrastinator and Elizabeth Taylor was notoriously late all her life. At least she had a sense of humour about it — on her instructions, Taylor’s funeral took place 15 minutes behind schedule. It took a French national, David d’Equainville, to identify this universal problem in 2010; and lo and behold, National Procrastination Week was born. (The annual event is scheduled for the first fortnight of March, but in keeping with the spirit of this holiday specific dates tend to get postponed.) Writer Mark Twain summed it up best when he declared, “I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do the day after”. It is all too human, the temptation to avoid chores. Confrontation means hard work. Far easier, then, to kick the can down the road.

All the same, when time is being wasted, it lurks uneasily in our minds, even as we go about whiling away the days. At its core, procrastination is a revolt against our own choices; an anguished tantrum at having ended up with a life doing so many things one hates. How we want to spend our time and how we actually do are painfully at odds, but that’s life. It must be an infuriatingly perfect early bird that always catches the worm.

(The writer is director, Hutkay Films)