Even after 20 years,the scars of Bosnia remain
KENAN TREBINCEVIC
Im A 31-year-old physical therapist living in Astoria,Queens,an American citizen more into Seinfeld reruns than bloodthirsty revenge. And yet,20 years after the start of the Bosnian war that exiled my Muslim family,I still hesitated to buy my lamb prsuta from my neighbourhoods Serbian butcher,until I learned he had been here 30 years. So he couldnt have been the soldier with the AK-47 who took my father and brother to the concentration camp.
But we were sceptical; the Bosniak owners,Serbian waitresses and nearby Croatian bar could be a recipe for disaster. We felt bad for the American bouncer,who probably thought he had it easy,overseeing seemingly mild-mannered white patrons. The waitresses who brought our $6 Buds wore white shirts and red scarves,like acolytes of Marshal Tito,the moderate dictator who once united Yugoslavias antagonistic groups,and a granite bust of Titos head sat on the bars top shelf. I turned to Eldin and said,Think this will make us forget the 250,000 dead?
I was born the year Tito died,in the city of Brcko. At seven,I pledged in front of my class and my favourite teacher,Milutin,to spread the unity that Tito had fought for. Five years later,in the first month of warfare,I bumped into Milutin,now in uniform. Hey,teacher, I called. He knocked the grocery bag out of my hand,saying,Balije dont need bread. (Balije was a slur for Bosniak.) Holding me by my hair,he rested his rifle against my head. Its jammed, he complained. As I ran away,I caught him waving a three-finger salute,a gesture of Serbian nationalism based on the Orthodox sign of the cross.
That year,I became a pariah. My karate teammates demanded that I return the He-Man trading cards wed collected. My best friends stopped picking me for soccer games. Id watch them play from behind the shades of my window,which were closed to protect us from bullets. My mother,Adisa (now deceased),had loved to listen to pop-rock while trimming her plants. But without sunlight and with nothing but patriotic songs on the radio,the flowers died one by one.
The writer is a New York-based physical therapist