What Do You Know?

Hot Air Bluesquot;We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wavequot; goes the popular Irving Berlin ballad; and as I sit at my compute...

Hot Air Blues

quot;We8217;re having a heat wave, a tropical heat wavequot; goes the popular Irving Berlin ballad; and as I sit at my computer churning yet another column piece out, I try to keep cheerful by humming this rift through my mind. It8217;s a blistering 98 degrees F outside you do the conversion please and I am sweating buckets, the miserable fan providing little succour. Friends have advised me to purchase an air conditioning unit, as it is known to get worse as the next few months roll by. However, I am resisting the temptation to splurge as air conditioning always reminds me of Bombay and the recurrent nightmare my family goes through in dealing with smelly quot;repairwallahquot; plus his six attendees who come and heave-ho sick units condenser gaya or shorting is happening8217; and leave greasy stains on our pastel walls. quot;But Mr. Wadia,quot; our trusty a/c man called Rajan from RR Electrical at Worli Naka would say, quot;it will take three days or maybe three weeks, difficult to say, depending onspare partsquot;. At that moment our equally trusty driver Swamy who of course is also the CEO of our family enterprise would be dispatched to RR to see what can be done to speed matters up. Lo and behold, Swamykins would return with a quot;tempervaryquot; unit, which would mean more greasy stains and chipped paint in installation. Naturally three days later this unit too would give up the ghost and splutter and die. And the aforementioned chain of events would repeat itself. But God Bless America. Here buying an air-conditioning unit is like buying ear buds. You walk into a hardware store one on every three blocks or so and put down your two hundred bucks and walk away with a box unit which you can carry in your hand. You bring it home and plop it on your windowsill. You cut two pieces of cardboard and make temporary blocks for the exposed area on either side of the unit and you plug in the jack and voila! You are cooled. Three months later when fall arrives and the wind chill factor sets in you pick up the unit andtake it to the garbage dump and throw it away. Next day the streets are cleaned and your landlord has started charging you for heating. No repairwallah. No six attendees. No greasy stains or chipped paint. No Swamy driver-cum-CEO. Just you and your bills and your peace of mind.

Migratory Droppings

Summer in Manhattan also means telephone calls from friends in Bombay doing their migratory thing. This week it8217;s television kingpin Fahad Samar and his charming girlfriend Simone the talented and accomplished actress of several television serials. Apart from taking a well deserved break from his prolific shooting schedule, Fahad 8212; whose Bombay Talkie production company will go down in the annals of Indian television history for its ground-breaking innovations in the genre of film music shows like BPL Oye and Hum Aapke Hain Kountdown 8212; is scouting locations in the US for several new projects up his sleeve. Also in town is the boywonder of Triton Advertising Vishal Jhunjhunwalawho was spotted by me at Tiffany8217;s looking for the ideal wedding band for his lady love, the diva producer of live television sporting events and ad commercials, Riva Vaidya. Rumour has it 8212; and so I must pass it on 8212; that Ms. Vaidya, escorted by her gracious mother DeDee the spirit behind the successful Affordable Art movement, was herself spotted over the weekend by Hello Magazine, cavorting in the sun on the deck of a yatch owned by a certain Italian automobile magnate. The Jhunjhunwala-Vaidya wedding slated for November is already one hot ticket for only a select few close friends are being invited of the Millenium-to-be wedding season. Aside to Rohit Bal: quot;Gudda dahling! My bejeweled achkan ready?quot; Further aside to James Ferreira: quot;Jamaima sweetie, a week8217;s wardrobe pleasequot; A sneer to Hemant Trivedi: quot;Sister, you still living? And last but not least zipping through the Rotten Apple on his way to San Francisco for a television seminar is Sony TV8217;s Sohail Abbasi who I met up with at aspeak-easy with playwright Paul Knox. Abbasi and Sony8217;s Creative Director Raveena Kohli are on a US junket to showcase their wonderful channel8217;s success story to the big-wigs in Hollywood.

The meek shan8217;t inherit

Last Friday Bombay8217;s gay community was reminded once again why it is important to have the draconian Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code repealed. This law may not touch individual gays and lesbians on a daily basis as they try to go about their lives as equal citizens of India. But every once in a while ruthless police officials can invoke the law for extorting bribes and blackmailing selected individuals. Last Friday a gay party was raided in North Bombay. The party was celebrating international gay pride celebrated worldwide in the summer months. As the police raided the party they forced the entire crowd present to stand in lines. Then they insisted on noting everyone8217;s name and home address details. Then they humiliated those gay individuals who were dressed in drag. Theparty promoters were harangued and forced to enact scenes from the party so that police officers could take pictures for their records an unethical and unlawful procedure worthy of severest denunciation by human rights groups. Finally the celebrants were allowed to leave at 5.00 am! with the warning that they or their family members will be contacted by the police in the future. No doubt for bribes to fill the impoverished wallets of our pandus in blue.

Poet R Raj Rao has beautifully intoned in his acerbic poem Underground: You want to throw loo-goo on his face /but you give in meekly/ The meek shan8217;t inherit / You stand bereft/ The city your head-load.8217;

My respect, kudos8217; and encouragement to the organizers of this event. Like Abu Ben Ahdem, may your tribe increase.

Riyad Wadia, avant garde film-maker, is currently at home in New York.