The FAMILY pack

These days,most families live apart,sometimes in different countries. You rarely get the chance to reconnect with your sibling and your children get fewer opportunities to bond with cousins. The burden of school-work and extra-curricular activities keep children from meeting grandparents even when they live in the same town. But a week away from the stresses of your house,to be one big happy family in pristine surroundings is possible and gives you an opportunity to stock up on memories for life.

Kauls two children are aged 14 and 10,and her husband is a busy corporate lawyer. Typically,she meets her parents once a fortnight for dinner. Her sister makes a yearly trip to India but she invariably gets caught up with in-laws and friends. This is serious quality time. Yes,the kids would fight,we had some small arguments but nothing became a big issue, says Kaul,who divided the finances of the vacation with her sister. Last year,she travelled with her in-laws and her husbands brothers family to Phuket,Thailand. She laughs and brushes off questions on which holiday was more fun.

The joint family may be under threat in modern India,but family,extended family,remains a top priority even for the most urbane,global Indian. In the 80s and 90s,travelling abroad wasnt so common and holidays usually meant visiting relatives,cousins and grandparents. Those leisurely,slow-paced holidays have since been replaced by determined globetrotting. Yet duty,love and guilt surface occasionally. If you want to show your children a new place and bond with your parents and siblings,the most sensible option is to get them together on one vacation. Which is what many travellers are doing and the Indian travel industry is now gearing up to help plan massive family reunions.

Disney Parks,the international theme resort that has always attracted large families,has recently launched an India specific website http://www.disneyparks.in to aid tourists. At Hong Kong Disney and Euro Disney,they rearrange a restaurant for large groups,throw in a personal holiday planner and provide babysitters. Weve just entered the Indian market and were working closely with tour operators on packages for large family holidays, says Joseph Fernandes of Aviareps that represents Disney Destinations in India.

Resorts by the Taj Group and most holiday properties of The Oberoi across India have a Children Stay Free policy if theyre under 12. The Oberoi Trident chain has a Kids Club stocked with toys,a Playstation and a splash pool. A dedicated entertainment manager keeps the children engrossed with games like water polo and even cooking classes,so adults on the trip can take a break. We see a lot of large families coming on holiday to our Trident properties in Agra,Jaipur and Udaipur, says Ketaki Narain of the corporate communications wing,The Oberoi. Sometimes its a celebration like a birthday or an anniversary.

Planning the itinerary for large families can be a tough task for travel agents and hotels,since inevitably people want to do different things. When a tour group consists of people with different ages,we have to sit with the clients and make packages specifically for them, says Giriraj Parihar of Destination Resorts in Pune. Parihars firm planned the itinerary for over 10 members of a family to the US this summer.

Last year,Pune-based Melvina and Sylroy Menezes,a captain in the Merchant Navy,planned a 12-day trip to Jammu,Dalhousie and Amritsar. Melvinas Mumbai-based sister and brother came along with their families and so did Sylroys brother. Eventually 13 members of the family made it to Dalhousie and evenings were spent playing antakshari,cards,Monopoly and dumb charades. Besides the fun of it,these long holidays have helped us resolve differences that might have got magnified by distance, says Melvina.

Travelling comes with its own share of stress,and accepting that holidays get tiring and sometimes monotonous will help deal with the minor irritants of the trip. A Delhi-based media professional,who requested anonymity because she didnt want to offend family members,recalls a holiday with her husbands family. We were in Thailand and my father-in-law would constantly whine about the food, she says. The trick,say veteran clan holiday-goers,is figuring out finances and setting some rules before the trip itself. If you try and see the Eiffel Tower in the morning,the Louvre in the afternoon and shop in the evening,theres bound to be tension, says Geetanjali Kashyap,47,a fashion professional based in Delhi.

Kashyap went on an ambitious trip to Scotland with her parents and sisters family last summer. My dad loves his Scotch so we went whisky tasting to the Glenfiddich distillery. He was thrilled, she says. The understanding with her sister was clear; the budget had been minutely worked out and the itinerary planned. Problems arise when somebody wants to spend 500 on a bottle of wine and you dont, says Kashyap. Similarly,Kauls vacation to Bali with her family was for a whole month. Private time to do your own thing is essential, she says. Kaul and her sister split the task of cooking a meal a day at their villa for everybody and the relationship was relaxed enough for people to wander off on their own without causing comment.

Chandigarh-based Aditi A. Mehrotras winter vacation last December sounds straight out of a Sooraj Barjatya film. The diet consultant drove to Delhi,picked up her sister and children and drove to Jaipur,where both her parents and in-laws are based. The holiday with both sides of the family began at the dargah in Ajmer. The idea was to expose the kids to religions other than their own, said Mehrotra. On the way back,she organised a chartered bus and visited the Salasar temple in Fatehpur.
For all those who are filled with horror at these togetherness holidays,she has a word of advice: On these holidays we have the privilege of four generations sitting down to a meal at dinner. I think we should enjoy it while it lasts.
_With inputs by Garima Misra in Pune and Jagmeeta Thind Joy in Chandigarh