Campaign diary

As the party leaders swapped soppy anecdotes during their first televised debate,David Cameron revealed to a waiting world that he had recently met a man who had apparently joined the navy at the age of ten. The man eventually stepped forward: he turned out to be 51,rather than 40,and had served for six years rather than 30 8212; but he is worried about immigration.

Unconvincing excuse of the week

8220;What do I do? I have two children,I8217;ve got a wife who was working at that time. What do I do?8221;

Gordon Brown explains to radio listeners why he thought it was reasonable to put his domestic cleaning on expenses. Other parents with working spouses may not have been wholly persuaded by his plea. Especially if they are taxpayers.

Lousy interview of the week

Questioned by a BBC reporter about his party8217;s proposal to ban the burqa in public buildings,Lord Pearson,leader of the UK Independence Party,argued that the policy would appeal to 8220;quite a lot of Muslim women8221;. Pressed on his party8217;s approach to bank regulation,an exasperated Lord Pearson protested that he hadn8217;t 8220;come here to deal with the minutiae8221;. Finally,insisting to the interviewer that he had indeed read his party8217;s manifesto,he conceded that he hadn8217;t 8220;remembered it all in detail8221;.

Election song of the week

The self-styled 8220;Cameron girls8221; launched a valiant but ultimately doomed bid to emulate the hotpants-wearing 8220;Obama girl8221; who helped sweep the president into the White House. Sample lyrics: 8220;They call us the Cameron girls/ Won8217;t find us wearing twinsets and pearls8221;,and 8220;Do you mind if I call you DC?/ I sense we have real chemistry./ I can wear an apron and pour you tea,/ I8217;d even wear a hoodie if you8217;d hug me.8221;

But the accolade goes to the bizarre video cover of the Bucks Fizz classic sort of 8220;Making your mind up8221;,organised by Total Politics,a magazine,to encourage viewers to vote. Among those who get jiggy on the video are Nigel Farage,Peter Tatchell,Alastair Campbell and Ann Widdecombe.

Campaign attire of the week

A gaggle of senior ministers emerged from Downing Street to announce plans for launching an emergency flotilla to rescue Britons stranded on the continent for days by volcanic ash. The gravity of the moment was slightly undercut,however,by Lord Mandelson8217;s jacket,a cream linen number that looked as if he were heading off for a whisky sour at a provincial hotel rather than to a meeting of the government8217;s 8220;Cobra8221; emergency committee.