Till song146;s end

As the new serials look worn out, stale and oh so generation past, as the comedies raise fewer laughs than the serials...

As the new serials look worn out, stale and oh so generation past, as the comedies raise fewer laughs than the serials, as the news is more melodramatic and laughable than either, there8217;s only one place to park for relax time: the TV talent shows to call them reality TV is to confuse reel with real.

But here8217;s the hitch: what to watch? TV executives, so smart they8217;re foolish, schedule these hunts on weekends that begin Friday and end Saturday. That too, at the same prime time, so you can never watch all of them, or if you do, never watch any fully 8212; just a song here, a jhatak there, a judge-grudge here, a contestant cry over there8230; They do this to undercut viewership for rival channels8217; talent shows but end up cutting their own which would be higher if pitted against one of those worn out, stale new serials on other days. Spite is a self-inflicting injury.

Last Friday evening, in no particular order, we went Boogie Woogie Sony, Nach Baliye 3 Star Plus, sang on Mission Ustaad 9X and Jhoom India Sahara One and danced with the stars of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa Sony. Before we could catch our breath or recollect our whirling senses, it was time to Sa Re Ga Ma Pa with Li8217;l Champs Zee and Star Voice of India Chhote Ustaad Star Plus. That8217;s a lot of singing for one night. Just when your vocal chords suffered a flat, Archana Puran Singh, Satish Shah and Johnny Lever invited you to laugh on Comedy Circus Sony 8212; what emerged was a crocodile with a cough. By 11 pm we were giddy with aching, exhausted muscles out of control and a voice box that had shut down. That8217;s what these TV schedules do to you.

Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa concluded Saturday night. It was the most enjoyable 8212; with smiles instead of histrionics as broad as anchor Mona Singh8217;s lovely mouth. Shiamak Davar was all wrong in a dinner jacket and written Hindi that nobody but he could understand, Urmila Matondkar has been a revelation as a lively, amusing judge and Jeetendra was, is, will always be Jeetendra, giving, in his favourite phrase: 8220;100 per cent8221;. He ought to be a contestant on Jhalak III. Cyrus Broacha returned to the scene of his failure and cracked this joke about himself: 8220;I am Prabhu Deva ka samosa8221;. Deliciously funny, but what did it mean? There were many item numbers, including the one featuring female dancers in black panties and bras laced with literally gold. Ban and banish them immediately. Everyone smiled, laughed, and of course danced with guests Katrina Kaif and Akshay Kumar promoting their new film together, Cyrus his new TV show, Sudesh Bhosle and Bappi Lahiri theirs.

Mission Ustaad, like the name suggests, sings for a cause. It8217;s sobersides with Javed Akhtar reprising his successful Indian Idol role of a frowning judge, joined by A.R. Rahman who8217;s so soft-spoken, you have to turn off the volume to hear him! Actors like Vasundhara sing soulfully, which kinda sums it up 8212;all soul, less song.

Jhoom India is all drama. The format demands that winning contestants eliminate losing contestants with a little help from fractious judges. It8217;s Shabana Azmi anything Javed can do, I can do better? against Mahesh Bhatt who is always fractious, never mind the company with Anandji to choose between them. Last week Shabana supported Sharad, Bhatt backed Mrinal and Anandji chose Mrinal whereupon Bhatt quoted, 8220;A rose is a rose is a rose8221;. Why?

The singing? When he stops sulking Shekhar Suman sings indecently well; so does Varun Badola occasionally Unfortunately, more time is spent on why Shekhar likes or dislikes Varun than on their singing.

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