The pruning game

In his latest hand-written circular, hand-delivered to avoid delay, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh asked his Ministers to come up with ways a...

In his latest hand-written circular, hand-delivered to avoid delay, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh asked his Ministers to come up with ways and means to prune the bureaucracy in their own departments. The Minister who proposed the minimum bureaucratic strength may be headed for an elevation, he indicated. An exception was made in the case of Jagdish Tytler, yet to get his staff although he holds a portfolio.

The 8216;8216;pruning8217;8217; file, 8216;8216;Slash Bureaucrat8217;8217;, was missing. The Minister realised that if he did not come up with something fast he may even lose his present post. 8216;8216;Is this a joke?8217;8217; he screamed, as his secretary breezed in. 8216;8216;The deadline for cutting 40 per cent of the bureaucracy in my ministry is almost over, and yet there is no word from anyone. Do you want the Minister to look silly in front of the Prime Minister.8217;8217;

8216;8216;Nobody expects the Minister to look silly, Mr Minister,8217;8217; reasoned the secretary, 8216;8216;especially before the Prime Minister, but accidents do happen.8217;8217;

8216;8216;Where is that file?8217;8217; demanded the minister. 8216;8216;According to the PMO directive, the following departments should be made redundant: department of statistics, department of monitoring, department of chasing files which includes the removal of chief chaser, deputy chaser and assistant chaser of files8230;8217;8217;

8216;8216;Sir, our men are on the job, working day and night,8217;8217; said the secretary.

8216;8216;How can this take time?8217;8217; asked the Minister. 8216;8216;You have a whole section, called department of pruning the bureaucracy. What is it doing?8217;8217;

8216;8216;Well sir,8217;8217; explained the secretary, 8216;8216;if the PMO directive is to be implemented, we need to call for files from at least 30 departments working in the Ministry. Each department has to give their staff strength, the current salary package and post-retirement pension plan. There is only so much that can done.8217;8217;

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8216;8216;In other words, I won8217;t have the report on time,8217;8217; screamed the Minister.

8216;8216;You will, but you need to immediately move the finance ministry to create at least four posts 8212; one of chaser, another of section officer coordination, another director-level post for a young officer who can draft the final report for me, and an assistant for me who will be exclusively handling this,8217;8217; countered the secretary.

8216;8216;The FM will not sanction the posts,8217;8217; moaned the Minister. 8216;8216;How do I send the report on time?8217;8217;

8216;8216;Do you want to send the report or save your job?8217;8217; asked the secretary.

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8216;8216;How impertinent,8217;8217; yelled the Minister, 8216;8216;I want to do both.8217;8217;

8216;8216;If you want to cling on, Mr Minister, here is the solution. Do nothing, sit tight,8217;8217; explained the secretary. 8216;8216;The Prime Minister, himself a bureaucrat, is right now busy with the massive budgetary exercise. There are close to 400 budget files which he has to go through in the next couple of weeks. He also has to study various commission reports on bureaucratic reforms, that would be another 300 files8230; The Prime Minister would not have time for at least a year before the bureaucratic-pruning file reaches him.8217;8217;

8216;8216;One year is a long time in politics,8217;8217; said the Minister, heaving a sigh of relief. 8216;8216;In that case, take your time.8217;8217;

8216;8216;With a bureaucrat Prime Minister immersed in files, the politics of pruning may take even longer,8217;8217; chirped the secretary.