The poll soap opera

Yes, it was 99.9 per cent perspiration you saw shining. On the brows of its cricket players after the Rawalpindi rout. They looked so please...

Yes, it was 99.9 per cent perspiration you saw shining. On the brows of its cricket players after the Rawalpindi rout. They looked so pleased with themselves, none more so than roll-over Ramesh Powar as if he had personally engineered the victory from the dressing room. Nothing could dim the glory 8212; not the overcast sky, not a commentary team exhausted of saying, 8216;Team India8217; 8212; not even Navjot Singh Sidhu.

The best way to listen to Sidhu is in complete silence. Sit back, press the remote to 8216;Mute8217; and marvel at his excesses 8212; sartorial or verbal 8212; and the bhangra of his index finger. Rameez Raja might like to cut it off the next time Sidhu flourishes it in his face. Sidhu had his moments but they8217;re well behind him. Now, he rants and raves, barely permitting others8217; speech. He8217;s gone from being cute to being rude; from being funny to laughable. What were delightful flights of fancy have become pure gibberish as he8217;s puffed up with all the air time television has given him. Frankly? His patriotism was embarrassing Ten Sports, NDTV. So hello politics, goodbye commentary 8212; Amritsar8217;s possible gain won8217;t be cricket8217;s loss.

Sidhu joins Smriti Kyunki Iraani as a BJP candidate. This is clever media strategy if bad politics: TV stars attract the arclights 8212; and scrutiny 8212; more than other candidates. Ask Dharmendra. A question: should Irani be allowed to advertise herself on Kyunki and talk show Kuch Diil Se during the elections? Well, since opponent Kapil Sibal is on TV as often, maybe it will be a fair contest.

The BJP media strategy runs along smoothly. Before the campaign began in earnest, the backroom boys 8212; Jaitley, Mahajan, Punj 8212; and personalities like Sidhu 8212; monopolised the limelight. Then L K Advani climbed into his Judeo Rath. There8217;s just something about anything on four wheels that transfixes the media gaze. If ESPN has its Formula One, MTV its Roadies, news channels had the yatra 8212; and, Sonia8217;s roadshow.

The yatra is timed to peter out just as Vajpayee hits the campaign trail and the headlines. Unfortunately, a little matter of a sari stampede ruined the media op of Vajpayee filing his nomination papers. By way of compensation, Vajpayee spoke to all the news channel and ETV. Till last week, 8216;8216;exclusive8217;8217; meant the opposite of 8216;8216;inclusive8217;8217;. But with each channel claiming its Vajpayee interview was 8216;8216;exclusive8217;8217; within minutes of the other, it has now acquired the same meaning.

Vajpayee used the opportunities to contradict his party. While every BJP leader insists India feels good, the PM says, 8216;8216;I don8217;t understand what this is8217;8217;. While Advani says he senses a wave in favour of the NDA, Vajpayee says that8217;s 8216;8216;mushkil8217;8217;, the NDA8217;s tally 8216;8216;kuch to badhega8217;8217;. Sahara Samay.

Star News8217; Shungloo was good with the PM but someone forgot to tell his cameraman that during an interview it is customary to focus on the guest. The cameraman must have been cross-eyed.

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Laloo Yadav8217;s eyes bulged out of their sockets on Aaj Tak when it forecast bad times for RJD in Bihar. His usual media-friendly demeanour deserted him in the face of prospective defeat. He had lost it like a bald man whose wig has suddenly been blown away. 8216;8216;Don8217;t believe it,8217;8217; he babbled, 8216;8216;this is a complete lie8230; this is hi-fi media campaign8230; RSS media hai aapki8230; Rs 500 crore BJP/Government has spent on the media8230;8217;8217;

With 24-hour news, the political party broadcast is a guest who has overstayed his welcome and should be bounced out. Watching Sheila Dikshit sell the Congress you8217;d never have bought what she was saying DD National. Dikshit may be a good Chief Minister but on DD and Hardtalk BBC World, her media manners needed mending. On DD, she read haltingly from the tele-prompter like a child reading for the first time. Sushma Swaraj, appearing a little later for the BJP, was an apt pupil who had learnt her lines by heart and used the tele-prompter, correctly 8212; to prompt. Although, she might like to reconsider the theatrical shake of her head from side to side. Like she had a stiff neck.