The Option is Adoption

ANJALI Sharma carried Param in her womb for nine months. And she brought Ragini into her home and heart when the child was all of nine month...

ANJALI Sharma carried Param in her womb for nine months. And she brought Ragini into her home and heart when the child was all of nine months old. It8217;s a memory every bit as special as the one in which Param took his first lungful of air, perhaps the more so because Anjali, her husband Mandeep Singh Vinayak and their son Param were all involved in Ragini8217;s 8216;8216;re-birth8217;8217;.

Mandeep, 41, and Anjali, 38, both practising lawyers, agree on this point 8212; Pataka, 8216;Little Wonder8217;, 8216;Daddy8217;s girl8217;, their many nicknames for seven-year-old Ragini testify that she continues to be a special child 8212; but reply separately when asked why they adopted a child after the birth of their son. 8216;8216;I wanted a second child,8217;8217; says Anjali, 8216;8216;but my first delivery was very painful, and I didn8217;t want to repeat the experience. Then, I thought, what difference was there between a biological child and one we would make ours. Also, this way, we could be sure the second child was a girl, which we wanted.8217;8217;

Adds Mandeep, 8216;8216;As for me, I have always been moved by the pathetic condition of many of our children. I felt very strongly that if each one of us adopted a child, it could solve many problems.8217;8217;

But weren8217;t they apprehensive about bonding with an adopted child, vis-a-vis their own? Both Anjali and Mandeep protest vehemently at the suggestion. 8216;8216;Absolutely not. But I took time to accept to the fact that this was my baby. After all, when she came home at nine months, she was a fairly developed individual,8217;8217; says Anjali. 8216;8216;The first feelings were of compassion and an instinctive desire to protect her. The bonding happened with time.8217;8217; For Mandeep, again, it was different: 8216;8216;She became my baby even before the adoption formalities were completed, when I picked her up and she clung to my shirt button. I knew that moment she was mine.8217;8217;

That was only the first battle of acceptance that Ragini had to fight and win. 8216;8216;Though both sets of our parents were all for adoption, my mother was apprehensive about the child8217;s health,8217;8217; says Anjali. 8216;8216;But ultimately, it was she who nursed a malnourished infant to glowing health, touch wood.8217;8217;

Next on the conquest list were relatives, neighbours and now, schoolteachers and classmates. Says Mandeep, 8216;8216;We wanted to celebrate our child, but our relatives weren8217;t keen to join in initially. I forced them to open a bottle of champagne to mark the day, and now, thankfully, they have accepted her as family. In fact, Anjali8217;s sister-in-law has also adopted a child.8217;8217; Neighbours were less willing victims to Ragini8217;s charm, but so far as school was concerned, says the couple, they never faced any problems. 8216;8216;Both our children go to Amity International in New Delhi, and apart from the technical details we had to clarify at the time of admission, we never had any problem,8217;8217; says Anjali.

The conversation has taken a serious turn, but then Ragini comes into the picture and immediately monopolises her dad8217;s attention. Her mother laughingly acknowledges that the seven-year-old can wrap Mandeep around her little finger. The four of them form a circle of love so tight, so perfect, that one wonders if they wouldn8217;t rather protect its innocence by refraining from telling Ragini about her origins. But there again, the Singh couple surprises.

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8216;8216;We8217;ve already broached on the subject,8217;8217; says Anjali. 8216;8216;Mahabharata was being telecast, and I pointed out to Ragini that Krishna had two mothers. We told her some babies were 8216;tummy babies8217; and some special babies, and that she was a special baby. When she was very young, she used to say she came from my tummy, and we didn8217;t dispute it.8217;8217; Mandeep says that they feel better being open about the adoption. 8216;8216;It8217;s better that we tell her, rather than someone else.8217;8217;

Param, sporting a Beckham hairstyle, joins his parents and sister at the table. He was only four when Ragini arrived at their house, and he doesn8217;t remember much of the time, but his parents say it was he who taught her to walk. 8216;8216;I remember that the first time she cried, I burst out laughing,8217;8217; he adds shyly.

As if to get her own back, Ragini pipes up, 8216;8216;I don8217;t like bhaiya.8217;8217; But Bhaiya doesn8217;t seem particularly worried, and tells his parents about his new friend from school. 8216;8216;They are like any other siblings, they fight and can be perfect nuisances,8217;8217; sighs Anjali. 8216;8216;I have four very naughty children 8212; our dogs, Demon and Devil, are family too.8217;8217;

As unquestionably as is Ragini. 8216;8216;We are her real parents,8217;8217; say Anjali and Mandeep. And that8217;s the last word.