The Lone Wolf

He looks the perennial Casanova, often tall, dark and M038;B-esque handsome. Unshaven for the rugged appeal, tousled hair for the just-dunnit look and vulnerable eyes that beguile you into believing he8217;s a lost boy. Think Milind Soman8212;he8217;s 398212;and you8217;ve got the picture.

8216;8216;I8217;ve no idea what I8217;m looking for in a wife,8217;8217; says Bose. 8216;8216;Simply because I8217;m not looking for one.8217;8217;

The Lone Wolf may have the responsibilities of a career8212;often, a successful career8212;but none that are emotional. These are men who can8217;t get over the string-free single life, for better or worse. Could we then say that we have a grown-up male here who refuses to grow up?

8216;8216;I don8217;t think that8217;s a fair definition,8217;8217; says N Radhakrishnan, editor of Man8217;s World. 8216;8216;Yes, there are a lot more single men now than in the Sixties, for example, but that8217;s also because there is less pressure on them from their families,8217;8217; he adds. 8216;8216;The question I8217;d like to ask them is would they want the same life when they8217;re 50 and 60?8217;8217;

8216;8216;Single men never think they8217;re going to be sick,8217;8217; says Nonita Kalra, single vixen and editor of Elle magazine. 8216;8216;They never think about the future, they probably think their company8217;s Mediclaim takes care of it. Since they have all this money from their plush jobs, they can afford pricey cigars and single malts. Married men have wives, children and 10-year mutual funds to take care of.8217;8217; So that8217;s why singles are so knowledgeable about art and Almodoacute;var.

8216;8216;I8217;ve always showered my girlfriends with crystal and expensive dresses,8217;8217; says Percival Billimoria, 39, a senior partner in Delhi8217;s top corporate law firm, Ajay Bahl and Company. 8216;8216;My girlfriends and I learnt to tango, waltz together,8217;8217; adds the ardent Wedgwood collector. 8216;8216;Some of my relationships lasted seven years.8217;8217;

Interestingly, this species8217; den is quite the bachelor pad with all the accoutrements of the hunter-gatherer.

The basics read essentials are all there8212;a couch, a TV set, music system, a stocked bar and a shelf of books. And little else.

Rajeev Samant, the 37-year-old entrepreneur who owns Sula Wines, lives part of the week in his parents8217; apartment in tony South Mumbai. But his weekends are spent in an expansive suburban flat where the living room has an old sofa, a make-shift dining table, a TV set and stereo. The bar, the plushest corner with leather bar stools, is almost empty after the past weekend8217;s party.

8220;This is where I entertain,8217;8217; he says. He has around 100 people over, there8217;s thumping music and lots of booze. And though he has a man for domestic help, food is almost always ordered in from Noorani8217;s, a Mumbai seekh kebab hot spot.

Sounds like a college party? 8216;8216;Only the beer has been replaced by wine,8217;8217; Samant smiles. Single women may choose to have the ubiquitous bai to do the dishes, but the men seem to need a cook more8212;they8217;d rather live in a mess than not feed themselves. Bose has two maids8212;one to cook and the other to clean his one-bedroom apartment in a mid-Mumbai bylane. Besides the day8217;s cooked meal, Bose8217;s nano-fridge has a solitary bottle of Sartori Merlot 8216;8216;for friends who drop by8217;8217;, chocolate, bread, cheese and Tetrapaks of milk and juice.

Though Billimoria has a butler and a cook, 8216;8216;I8217;m known to cook up some pretty good French and Italian dishes,8217;8217; he says. Probably the last single man still living with his mother, Soman moans, 8216;8216;My mother wants me to get married for all the wrong reasons. She wants someone to take care of me.8217;8217; Soman8212;Mumbai8217;s party scene8217;s incorrigible lover boy Madhu Sapre, Bipasha Basu, Nirja Shah, rumours of Tabu, Gul Panag, a few VJs and upstart models8212;says he can8217;t see himself ever getting married. 8216;8216;What8217;s the point? I don8217;t ever want kids,8217;8217; he adds.

Most Lone Wolves are often the only single men in their group. Like Bose, who spends most of his social time with his soccer buddies and their wives. Samant8217;s closest mates are art collector Dinesh Vazirani and film-makers Rohan Sippy and Nikhil Advani8212;all 8216;settled8217; men. 8216;8216;They all say it isn8217;t easy, but they wouldn8217;t have it any other way,8217;8217; says Samant. 8216;8216;I8217;m not afraid of commitment,8217;8217; says Delhi-based MIT-alumnus architect Arun Rewal, 38. 8216;8216;Marriage is a possibility, but it8217;s always a possibility. It8217;s not difficult to fall in love.8221;

While getting hitched is a problem, serial monogamy isn8217;t. All these men have been in long-term relationships, which have never culminated at the altar. 8216;8216;All my relationships have been serious, excluding the flings at bars and there8217;ve been too many of those,8217;8217; says Rewal. Sanjay Narang, as famous for his liaisons with Sushmita Sen, Celina Jaitly and Raageshwari as for his casual diners, says, 8216;8216;Honest to God, I8217;ve never paid enough attention to my personal life.8217;8217;

The 40-year-old Mars Restaurants magnate8217;s celebrated relationships haven8217;t led to marriage because 8216;8216;I8217;ve been so absorbed with work, life has just cruised me by. 8216;8216;Things don8217;t work out sometimes. They8217;re all wonderful, it8217;s just that my lifestyle doesn8217;t suit them,8217;8217; adds the man who claims to work every waking minute.

Like many predators, our wolf finds his prey at night. Parties, nightclubs and resto-bars are the hunting ground. Soman is almost always photographed leaving with a new lady friend. 8216;8216;Seriously? I8217;ve given up the one-night stands after this one woman said to me 8216;My friends will never believe I slept with you8217;,8217;8217; he says. 8216;8216;I do go out looking for company,8217;8217; says Samant with a wicked grin. 8216;8216;And an eligible guy never has too much trouble finding women.8217;8217;

The women that men in their almost-40s seek are different from what they sought earlier. Looks are important, but intelligence takes precedence. 8216;8216;The women around this time, too, have gotten over their DJ/VJ fixation,8217;8217; says Samant.

Despite the success that these men have achieved, they8217;re still boys where money is concerned. Lack of wife and kids often means lack of accumulated wealth. 8216;8216;I have no savings. I spend all my money on books, travel or sports stuff,8217;8217; says Bose. 8216;8216;I don8217;t own a house either, and my car is purely functional.8217;8217; Samant8217;s Sula fortunes are ploughed back into the business. 8216;8216;I never have money in the bank. I don8217;t have fancy cars either,8217;8217; says Samant. Soman8217;s biggest expense is alcohol. 8216;8216;I just drink up all my money,8217;8217; he admits. And do women still flock to them? Yes. There8217;s just something about the wrong kind of man.

With inputs from Teena Baruah in Delhi