145;Sometimes, I feel I shouldn146;t have written it146;

Jaswant skips m-word; Chandra says look at 1998, silly to think US pushes us

His book has led to a national debate on espionage, has given the latest four-letter-word to the political lexicon 8212; 8216;8216;mole8217;8217; 8212; and sold 20,000 copies in five days. But today, Jaswant Singh had just one thing to say about his memoirs: 8216;8216;Sometimes, I feel I shouldn8217;t have written it.8217;8217;

At the preview-cum-panel discussion for A Call to Honour: In Service of Emergent India today, Singh was close to apologetic 8211; without once referring to the controversy 8212; 8216;8216;I never ever wanted to sensationalise8217;8217;.

Singh recalled that the book was originally conceptualised by publishing group Penguin, but added,8216;8216;After I wrote the first chapter, we had some difficulties8230;Then, I had to change my ponies.8217;8217; The book has been published by Rupa and Co.

Neither autobiography nor analysis, Singh said the book is 8216;8216;not a rejoinder to Strobe8217;s Talbott book8217;8217;. Although he has written extensively on the NDA regime8217;s flirtations with the nuclear bomb, US, China and Pakistan, he said,8216;8216;I would have liked to write much more than 400 pages8230;wanted to write about Russia, Myanmar and many more vignettes8217;8217;.

On the panel, former Indian ambassador to the US Naresh Chandra recounted Singh8217;s visit in the 1998 Pokhran II aftermath, saying: 8216;8216;What a difficult Washington it was8230;The trick then was to play the ball till May 13 and not let the US put sanctions on us8230;It8217;s a silly notion that the US pushes us around or arm twists us, I never felt any pressure when I was there.8217;8217;

C Raja Mohan, Editor strategic affairs, The Indian Express, recalled that the BJP was considered the 8216;8216;bomb party8217;8217;, but after Pokhran II, there was a paradigm shift in the diplomatic process. 8216;8216;Events come and go, but the process, philosophy is important8230;during his Singh8217;s tenure, one saw the boldness and willingness to take risks,8217;8217; he said.

Former RBI governor Dr Bimal Jalan praised Singh8217;s prose, noting that the memoirs didn8217;t assume the usual 8216;8216;I-did-this and I-did-that8217;8217; tone.

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The last word came from the author. Happy to hear about the sales, he said: 8216;8216;Half my royalty will go to Chidambaram8230;Authors should be exempt from taxes on royalty, this is in self-interest also.8217;8217;