Look before you shanghai

And time, again, for the yearly soul-searching. How, alas, will our sunken city 8212; recently ranked the world8217;s tenth most important commercial centre 8212; attain 8220;shanghification8221;?

Time, too, for the Chinese game of ping-pong between the Congress-led government and the Shiv Sena-led municipality. May the Least Accountable win. Meanwhile, Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh has skipped off on a ten-day junket to the US, where he8217;s wooing investors to our sinking ship.

Absurd. But not half as absurd as Mumbai8217;s reaction to its annual dunking.

Last week, as the city struggled for a life jacket, the Citizens Action Group 8212; a panel of eminent Mumbaikars including Jamshyd Godrej, Anand Mahindra and HDFC chief Deepak Parekh 8212; shot off a letter to the prime minister, suggesting that Mumbai8217;s port lands be freed for cultural and recreational purposes on the lines of London8217;s Canary Wharf.

Now isn8217;t this just what we need! I mean, sure, modern drainage, motorable roads, electricity, toilets, potable water, schools, houses and hospitals are important too, but these, presumably, can wait.

As for the rest of us ordinary mortals, we are thrilled at yet another chance to demonstrate our famous spirit of survival 8212; cheerfully doing laps in our living rooms and wading stoically off to work on submerged tracks while our kids splash gleefully in the viral soup of flooded streets Hey, who8217;s afraid of a little water?.

The scary part is we8217;re getting used to being mistreated; in fact, it has a certain moralistic appeal. That8217;s why, recently, a group of upright citizens dashed off 200 letters to the chief minister on the 8220;positive effects8221; of daily, eight-hour load-shedding: relief from saas-bahu soaps, free steam baths and candlelight dinners, reduced power bills and a boost to the economy from booming inverter sales. 8220;Since no other form of protest seems to be having an effect on politicians and the administration, we are certain Gandhigiri will work8221; said Jitendra Punjabi, a computer hardware dealer.

But unfortunately for the Nouveau Gandhian, official hide is too thick for subtle barbs 8212; we need to sharpen our claws. Some suggestions: Mumbai has more Improvement Committees than potholes. But it would help if our movers and shakers moved and shook 8212; or used their considerable clout to lobby just a little 8212; instead of hemming and hawing obscurely at five star conferences, and couching our concerns in politesse, to play the government8217;s Good Boys. For instance, petitioning the PM to release the promised Rs 1,200 crore for our antiquated drains might just save more lives and property than freeing port land.

Mumbai also has more citizen groups than any other city. But our Area Locality Management is just that 8212; a parochial preoccupation with local problems. Civic activism needs to go beyond cleaning drains, clearing garbage and whitewashing walls to become a movement. Instead of virtuously offering to do the municipality8217;s dirty work, we need to put our foot down and ensure that our civic servants do their jobs 8212; so we can get on with ours. It8217;s what they were elected to do, remember?

I believe the only way to achieve this is Civic Satyagraha: protesting against pot holes with 8220;rasta-rokos8221;, boycotting taxes until we get decent water, striking work until we get uninterrupted power. And punishing our elected representatives for criminal neglect, or dereliction of duty by simply refusing to vote in forthcoming elections.

In short, what Mumbai really needs more than infrastructure is intolerance. We must revolt before we 8220;shanghai8221;.