Lewinsky weeps, admits mistake

With her dark hair pulled back and wearing a dark suit and small earrings, Lewinsky8217;s eyes seemed to glow when she talked about the first days of the relationship. She denied she was still in love with Clinton, who was impeached and risked removal from office over the relationship and its aftermath.

8220;Sometimes I have warm feelings, sometimes I8217;m proud of him still, and sometimes I hate his guts. And um, he makes me sick,8221; Lewinsky said.

This was a far cry from an earlier turn in the interview, when she told how she flashed her thong underwear at the president and considered him a 8220;sexual soul mate.8221;

8220;We instantly felt very familiar with each other, and we were very comfortable with each other, and it was amazing. He8217;s a good kisser,8221; Lewinsky said.

The White House had no comment, and Clinton himself was in Newark, New Jersey, for a political fund-raiser while the broadcast was on.

Lewinsky was visibly affected by seeing a videotape of Clinton8217;s August 17 address to the nation, in which he finally acknowledged their affair, reversing months of denials. He called the affair not appropriate and wrong, and apologised to the nation but not to her.

8220;I felt like a piece of trash. I felt dirty and I felt used and I was disappointed,8221; Lewinsky said after that tape was played for her.

Did Clinton feel remorse for the affair and its consequences? 8220;When I think of the person that I thought was Bill Clinton, I think he had genuine remorse,8221; Lewinsky said. 8220;When I think of the person that I now see is 100 per cent politician I think he8217;s sorry he got caught.8221;

ABC aired the much-ballyhooed Lewinsky interview by Barbara Walters on its prime-time news magazine show 20/20 on the last night of the February-March sweeps period in which viewer ratings are used to set advertising rates.

Walters, one of the best-known interviewers on US television, is famed for making even the most hard-boiled subjects crack and Lewinsky did shed tears during the two-hour programme, especially when talking about the hardships her mother had suffered during more than 13 months of the White House sex scandal.

Generally, though, Lewinsky maintained her composure, giggling occasionally and wearing an open-mouthed frown or looking upward when the going got tough.

Asked whether Clinton gave the impression that she 8220;serviced8221; him sexually, Lewinsky replied softly, 8220;That was the impression he gave.8221;

The 25-year-old Beverly Hills woman said she was terrified on January 16, 1998 8212; the day officials kept her at a Washington area hotel and questioned her about her relationship with Clinton.

8220;I was 8212; I was petrified,8221; Lewinsky told Walters after heaving a deep sigh. 8220;I have never been so afraid in my entire life.8221;

At the same time, she was aware Clinton was likely to be asked under oath about their affair in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case, and wanted to warn him.

8220;I was constantly thinking at that point, how am I going to protect the president? 8230; should I go stand outside where he8217;s going to do the deposition and hold a sign saying don8217;t do it8217; ?8221; Lewinsky said.

Bits of the interview, which was conducted in New York on February 20, have leaked into the media over the last two weeks, with stories appearing in the Washington Post, Newsweek magazine, the New York Daily News and others.