Less talking, more shooting

There8217;s a lump in the throat. It8217;s called the O-lump-ics. It appears on those rarest of occasions when an Abhinav Bindra...

There8217;s a lump in the throat. It8217;s called the O-lump-ics. It appears on those rarest of occasions when an Abhinav Bindra wins a gold medal and the Indian national anthem plays, dissolving the lump into tears. It also occurs each time Doordarshan8217;s presenters refer to the Games as the O-lump-ics: today is Day 4 of the O-lump-ics, now we take you to live O-lump-ic action8230; This lump, however, does not dissolve into water; it solidifies into outrage at Doordarshan8217;s inability to pronounce Olympics 8212; and many other words, names. The only way to rid oneself of this constriction in the throat it is yell at the TV set: O-lump-it.

The Olympic telecast was always going to be poor, once DD laid hands on it. But it just got worse. Everything that could be wrong, is wrong. Worse, while worldwide sports telecasts have advanced with electronic communications, Doordarshan has regressed to the 1980s.

Studio: The rest of the television world is using computer-generated effects and graphics. DD is draped in satin ? Chinese curtains 8212; red, yellow, red with dragons. One studio has a red table, the other mauve armchairs, toy mascots in red and green. Aesthetics, anyone?

Presenters: Execrable taste in clothes. Monday, one wore a pink shirt with a darker pink and purple check tie against the yellow and red curtains. Also, they talk too much, sometimes involved in 20-30 minute discussions.

Presentation: Confusing. Events are not introduced in a way that you can understand what an epee is, how it is scored and who the main contenders are. Sunday morning at 10 am for half an hour, all 16 live feeds died. The presenters swung into action, rattling off names, figures, timings, events, tallies, scores, finalists, first heat finalists ! in every single event, followed by an even longer list of all the winners of each.

No photographs that we match a face and name to, not one graphic table with the scheduled events, not one timetable for the day8217;s telecast 8212; nothing but words.

Coverage: Erratic. Whimsical based on DD8217;s whims, confused and often meaningless. Live feeds mysteriously disappear; we join an event midway as we did on Monday afternoon in the single sculls rowing men or, take a commercial break just when the fireworks were about to go off at the opening ceremony. Then, DD engages in meandering conversations between, let8217;s say, a presenter and Suresh Kalmadi on India8217;s poor track and field record at the Olympics on a Saturday afternoon when 16 live feeds were available.

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And when the word play is done, what do we witness? Sunday, after patiently waiting for the feeds, it8217;s tennis the visual proclaimed trampoline. One Mr. Black, USA up against Mr. Something, Australia. Why did DD choose this excruciatingly boring match when there was so much else on offer? Must be the fault of that word 8212; Olumpics. At 1 pm, we went sailing: a beautiful blue sky, an azure sea with colorful little boats swaying in the breeze. Idyllic. But this is not a picnic, it8217;s the Olympics and most Indians would rather watch something 8211; anything 8211; else.

Commentary: If you8217;ve experienced difficulties in comprehending most of it ask why Doordarshan has an audio feed from Down Under that sounds as if it is coming from there instead of Beijing. Other times, we8217;re reduced to silence. The Sunday sailing event was telecast without accompanying commentary.

Goof ups galore: Monday, we8217;re told Avtar Singh Sethi will describe the rowing but there8217;s no way the Aussie or New Zealander we heard was Mr Sethi.

All in all, too much talk, too little action: 8220;This is a historic day, 28 years and this is the first time we have won a gold medal. Well,we8217;re already better off than we were before8230; Abhinav Bindra 8230;that8217;s what champions are made of8221;

8220;Absolutely8230;8221;

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