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Like the twists and turns of a Yana Gupta screen appearance, celebrity politics has just delivered another jhatka. No longer will it be viewed as a catch-all territory, with Shatrughan Sinha and N.T. Rama Rao, Shekhar Suman and Hema Malini huddled together.

Buffs will now differentiate 8216;8216;serious8217;8217; showbiz politicos from poll-time attractions, migrants from day trippers. What Amar Singh is to Ram Manohar Lohia in socialism, Govinda will be to Sunil Dutt in, well, cine-sism. You8217;ll have to tell dilletante from real Mckoy, item number from support cast.

Yet it is somewhat unfair to argue that these new entrants are political amateurs. Their initiation itself mirrors the hustle and bustle, heat and dust, bluff and bluster, cloak and swagger of the real thing.

Like the same project inaugurated multiple times 8212; or the same projections for India 2020 repeated year after year 8212; Suresh Oberoi has joined the BJP thrice: in 1995, 1999 and, voila, again in 2004.

Given his utter discomfiture with videshi imperiousness 8212; even if its Alan Wilkins we8217;re talking about 8212; Navjot Sidhu is a Pramod Mahajan natural. Neither does terminological inexactitude get in the way. During the 2003 Delhi assembly election Amisha Patel campaigned hard for Vijay Jolly, a BJP aspirant, introducing him as an old family friend. Only she forgot his name mid-speech.

Finally, in the best traditions of southern remakes, there8217;s Govinda, seemingly all set to do an M.G. Ramachandran for the Congress. Just as MGR was a subaltern hero, a milk-guzzling, Tamil-spewing cowboy, Govinda is projected as the cow belt8217;s ultimate small town style icon.

The good thing about the entertainment industry it that it takes you closer to your dreams. So forget these damned elections, do some crystal ball gazing. Imagine this summer 8212; the NDA is back in power and this is how the scene unfolds:

Navjot Sidhu is made Murli Manohar Joshi8217;s deputy in the HRD ministry, put in charge of the newly-created Department of English Promotion.

Suresh Oberoi is sworn in as telecom minister. Salman Khan immediately surrenders his mobile phone.

Dharmendra is sent to Pakistan as high commissioner. Need one say more?

Meanwhile the battle-lines for the next round of assembly elections are drawn up. In Bihar the Laloo-Rabri combine faces the twin challenges of a Shatrughan Sinha-led BJP and a Shekhar Suman-led Congress.

To confuse matters, Laloo sues Suman at the WTO tribunal for copyright violation. The case is thrown out because the WTO8217;s computers can8217;t recognise the word 8216;8216;Bihar8217;8217;.

Exasperated with Jayalalitha, the BJP announces Hema Malini is its chief ministerial candidate in Tamil Nadu. As two Iyengar Ammas fight it out in a supposedly Dravida polity, M. Karunanidhi turns to Rajnikant for help.

Not to be outdone, Mamata Banerjee offers celeb Bongs tickets for the 2007 state election, saying it will be fought on the slogan, 8216;8216;Go go Jyoti Basu, come come Bipasha Basu.8217;8217; Somebody tells her Jyoti Basu has retired. She says never mind, it8217;s cinematic licence.

Cinematic licence? Oh only politics by another name.