How do we tell them?

Bishwapradeep Basu, 20, of TYBA Fergusson College, though quick to admit that he has had no personal experience, philosophises, 8220;More often than not, the couples who are going around are themselves not sure whether the person they are going around with is the right one or not. If they, then, in such a situation, reveal the longings of their heart to their parents, they are bound to be snubbed as immature and asked to come out of the relationship before it8217;s too late. All this calls for unnecessary parental interference and pressure which none of us want.8221;

Another very important reason could be that Cupid usually strikes at an age when our lovey-dovey protagonists are still very much dependent on their parents. In today8217;s survival of the fittest8217; world, every individual wants to carve a niche for himself. Herein if love sprouts, there is no alternative except to keep it under wraps from parents, lest parents feel that their son is deviating from his goal in life.

When it comes to friends, however, it is a whole new ball game. Says Prithvijit Chaudhuri, 17, of FYBA Fergusson College, 8220;While the Indian upbringing has carefully hinted that certain topics like love and sex are taboo, friends pose no such restrictions. In fact, many of our friends might be sailing in the same boat at the same time, so they know exactly what we are going through and will advise in a way which appeals to us.8221;

Although Saurabh Madan, SE AIT, says that he is very open about his life to his parents, he does admit to a certain feeling of awkwardness8217; when it comes to admitting matters of the heart to them. The reason, Poonam Paranjpe of Fergusson believes is that, 8220;8230;deep down in the psyche, people going around realise that maybe what they are doing isn8217;t right.8221;

Bilwa Buchake of FE Cummins College opines, 8220;The present generation is caught between the Indian and Western cultures. As more and more youngsters try to ape the West, parents naturally oppose. Friends, however, are themselves undergoing this transition and so fathom the situation perfectly.8221; Blaming the present circumstances for such a situation, she expresses hope that the future generation doesn8217;t face this problem.

The favourite reason seemed to be the generation gap8217; which continues to thrive and survive. Many parents continued to feel that they couldn8217;t trust their children with finding the right kind of person for themselves.

Says Malati Arora, mother of a teenaged son and daughter, 8220;Before a right, there are many wrongs and a person might have had three-four affairs before finding the person. But people always retrospect and review the past relationships and this retrospection will be that of regret and repentance which we don8217;t want our children to go through. So it is very natural that we prevent them from deliberately trying to hamper their life and discourage such love affairs8217;.8221;

With friends there is no awkwardness, no reservations, no restrictions and no unnecessary intervention. Today, most have friends just as in friends8217; and not in the real sense of the word. It8217;s no wonder then, that these friends offer no long-term loyalties.

But all said and done, the fact remains that our young in love8217; couples feel more free and comfortable talking over their heart-related problems to friends.

Only one strange case was when a girl said that her parents are her friends, her best friends but they consider her a prude8217; and so the first thing she8217;d do on getting a boyfriend is tell them.

Somewhere, sometime, the talk across the floor has to happen. Somewhere the walls will have to break down. But until then the writing on the wall is clear for all who care. The debate does tilt in favour of friends who seem to be the know-all as well as the conscience-keepers ? of the young and the restless, in love.