Football: Wanted

SALARY & PERKS

Are you reading this, Greg Chappell? Only Rs 60,000-70,000 per month, but travel and kit are free… The players you will manage make at least double that

JOB DESCRIPTION

Full time coach of a group of sometimes wayward, sometimes average, rarely brilliant bunch, generally weak of physique and low of EQ. Areas of Responsibility include making them run, keeping them fit, talking strategy, feeding them, keeping them happy (big defeats are big depressants) and keeping them from late nights

AVERAGE LIFESPAN

This is the catch. This appointment really is short-term. There is a review coming up after the SAFF Cup. That probation period is the heart-in-hand stage. Good news is that the AIFF bosses are easily satisfied. A year at best, and all the stress you can take!

GROWTH POTENTIAL

Bigger the win, brighter the future so don’t worry too much about that paltry salary. Next stop: A big club in Kolkata or Goa, where the money and fame are. Not on the cards: Promotion to Technical Director, that’s reserved for the ‘expert’ from abroad.

TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES

Sign up and see the world: Kazakhstan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Oman. Even hit the South Seas and visit Fiji. It helps if you don’t let the results get in the way of the sightseeing

TALENT POOL

A vast pool of average talent. You get in neck deep, and drag your feet through the slush, feeling out for the rare ones that float