Delhi146;s Kolkata Communists

Not to be left behind, Dipankar Mukherjee CPI-M, confidant of and economic policy counsellor to comrade Prakash Karat announced the findings of a fellow traveller detective committee: the sale of Mumbai8217;s Centaur Hotel was 8212; ah that old Communist chestnut 8212; a conspiracy. The conspirators, as it happened, were Arun Shourie and Ranjan Bhattacharya. The hard evidence, as it also happened, was for the CBI to find.

The only one missing this week was veteran class warrior Nilotpol Basu RSP. Perhaps he8217;ll turn up next week with the key photograph the entire Indian Communist movement speaks of in hushed whispers: Arun Shourie on a Honda scooter, Ranjan Bhattacharya riding pillion, driving into the Delhi Radisson, which 8212; it may be noted 8212; has a coffee shop named NYC.

All the pieces would fall in place. In one swoop the Centaur swindle would be linked to the American nuclear sell-out and the stifling of the working class in Haryana. Just think how many enemies the Left could discredit with that one picture.

GIVE or take an A.B. Bardhan or a Somnath Chatterjee 8212; somewhat silenced by the speaker8217;s post, but only somewhat 8212; discount the suddenly camera-shy Sitaram Yechury, shrug aside the ubiquitous Karats, and you8217;re left with an awesome foursome that8217;s emerged as the Left8217;s 8216;8216;shouting brigade8217;8217; before the media.

Fittingly, they8217;re all from Bengal, base camp of Left politics, home to India8217;s most voluble politicians, and a state the Marxists have ruined so comprehensively, there8217;s nothing left to ruin. As such, the project can now go national.

The vanguard packs in a variety of backgrounds. Mukherjee was an engineer at Haldia Fertilisers, a snug PSU that had a swimming pool, a tennis court and even a white collar union headed by Dipankarda. Alas it didn8217;t produce an 8216;8216;ounce of fertiliser8217;8217; and is now 8212; like much else in dear old Bengal 8212; a 8216;8216;sick company8217;8217;.

Roy is a formidable letter writer, on public causes, private agendas and the vast territory in between that is popular democracy. Basu almost became an engineer, but politics beckoned. He made his mark with heroic attempts to tailor the New Telecom Policy to suit only one company 8212; the government-owned BSNL. Friends insist he8217;s completely honest and equally completely statist.

He8217;s also remarkably well-networked. Basu runs a rural telephony NGO and was said to have prevailed upon an NDA-era telecom minister to 8212; on the minister8217;s last day in office 8212; allow NGOs the status of PCO owners, and so avail discounted rates.

Completing the quartet is Dasgupta, a CPI trade unionist occasionally given to fights for marketshare with CPIM trade unionists, and breathing fire on a MNC two-wheeler unit in Gurgaon in the same week in which West Bengal ushered in its first FDI in two-wheelers, from Indonesia.

In the one year of UPA raj, the four practitioners of Nyet Politics have come to represent a breed that8217;s moved from fringe to frontline: it8217;s never been so powerful, so able to just say 8216;8216;No8217;8217; to everything, something, nothing.

At times, the services of other progressives in Delhi8217;s Bengali intellectual diaspora have also been commandeered 8212; such as business journalists who are so committedly anti-business that their idea of a solution to the Reliance imbroglio was: arrest both Ambani brothers and nationalise their companies.

FOR ones so microphone-friendly, the Bengal-brand Communists have limited descriptive powers. One injury is 8216;8216;white terror8217;8217;, two injuries is 8216;8216;class oppression8217;8217;, three injuries is 8216;8216;holocaust8217;8217;, four or more is 8216;8216;Jalianwalla Bagh8217;8217;.

Talking back is 8216;8216;fascism8217;8217;, answering back is 8216;8216;imperialism8217;8217;, arguing back is 8216;8216;neo-imperialism8217;8217;. Calling a political rival 8216;8216;Shikhandi8217;8217;, if its Yashwant Sinha on Manmohan Singh, is idiotic. Calling a political rival 8216;8216;Shikhandi8217;8217;, if its comrade Mukherjee about Shourie, is idiomatic.

It8217;s a simple world view. Now if only it wasn8217;t making life complicated for the rest of us.