Deep Rising

Other than the South China Sea, there is nothing remotely deep about either the characters or the plot of this cheesy, predictable box-off...

Other than the South China Sea, there is nothing remotely deep about either the characters or the plot of this cheesy, predictable box-office bomb. And, the only kind of rising it achieves is to make you want to rise out of your seat and scoot. Deep Rising is assuredly not the cup of tea of any individual who has his anchor in place.

On a dark and choppy night, a speed boat manned by Treat Williams Finnegan is speeding towards a luminous mansion of a passenger vessel, the Argonautica. William8217;s cargo and they can only be called that include a group of toughies led by Wes Studi Hanover whose goal is to sink the Argonautica. However, when they clamber aboard, they are greeted by a deathly silence as nary a passenger, save for a jewel thief Famke Janssen and three crew members, can be found.

Enter, a bad special effect, which is supposed to be an octopus with more than eight tentacles ending in fatal jaws which swallows human beings whole and then regurgitates skeletons all over the place. Height of bad table manners, I say. The film seems to, thus, be an attempt to pickle the Titanic and Aliens both directed by James Cameron but misses the appeal of both by a wide margin.

Also weighing down the film is the utterly wooden acting. Williams, who is meant to create an echo of Indiana Jones, is as soggy as his plaid shirt 8211; a perfect match for the perfectly bland Janssen who was obviously picked for her physical attributes than her ability to deliver lines. Kevin J Connor as Williams8217;s sidekick, is supposed to be funny and warm but ends up being an irritant in the unmentionable places. The goons speak in stilted tones with a vocabulary limited to the choicest curses.

The movie staggers on, a gallery of horrors, which include the screaming skeleton of a man devoured and spat out, bodies at different stages of digestion, a floating corpse, vomit and body fluids, the woman who is sucked to her doom down a toilet, and other utterly repulsive shots which can only appeal to an audience of vampires.

A lesson for writer/director Stephen Sommers is that audiences are much smarter than they seem, spoilt as they are by special effects of the calibre of the Titanic, Jurassic Park or Star Wars.