Agastya Nanda says ‘nanu’ Amitabh Bachchan ‘is very serious’ at home but is playful in public; why this happens and the impact on younger family members

The conversation became even more playful when Agastya was asked to choose his favourite grandparent. As he hesitated, Amitabh Bachchan joked, “Phas gaye bhaisaab (you are in trouble).” When another question was attempted, he interrupted with, “No, not a second question, I want to know the answer to this.” 

Agastya’s co-star Jaideep Ahlawat added to the humour, saying, “If you want to get beaten in the vanity take Jayaji’s name, but if you want to get beaten at home, then take Big B sir’s name.” When Agastya finally said that his nani, Jaya Bachchan, is stricter, Amitabh responded with mock approval, “Continue, bilkul sahi hai yeh (This is absolutely correct).”

Beyond the jokes, the exchange reflects something many families recognise: the ‘serious’ elder at home who appears lighter, more animated, or more expressive in public spaces. 

But why do many elders appear more serious at home but more relaxed or playful in public or professional settings?

Gurleen Baruah, existential analyst at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “In public or professional spaces, especially in fields like show business, playfulness can be part of the role. Joking, entertaining, and being expressive are often expected and rewarded. At home, that performance drops. Home is usually where people are most themselves, with their fatigue, worries, and need for control or quiet.”

 

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She adds that authority figures may also “feel a responsibility to hold structure at home,” which can come across as seriousness. We rarely see someone’s full inner life unless we live with them. What looks like contrast is often just context; different spaces bring out different parts of the same person.

How strict or reserved family environments influence a child or grandchild’s openness

“Strict” is a broad word, says Baruah, adding that some structure and boundaries are necessary, especially in childhood. They help children feel safe. But when strictness turns into emotional distance, unpredictability, or excessive control, children may grow up learning to monitor moods, walk on eggshells, or hold back their feelings. 

Over time, the expert notes that this can affect emotional openness and self-expression. Children may become compliant, anxious, or overly self-reliant. Emotional comfort develops when there is space to make mistakes, ask questions, and be seen without fear. Without that, the connection can feel conditional rather than safe.

Seeing different sides of the same person over time

Baruah notes, “Yes, it is healthy and very human. People evolve across roles, ages, and life stages. Seeing different sides of someone can soften the rigid narratives we hold about them. It allows relationships to move from fixed roles to more equal, adult-to-adult connections.” 

This shift can improve communication if there is openness and curiosity instead of judgment. When families allow room for change, conversations become more honest.