Debriefing Session

BUYING men8217;s innerwear isn8217;t andar ki baat anymore, with modestly cut boxers giving way to flashy, stringy numbers that come with ...

BUYING men8217;s innerwear isn8217;t andar ki baat anymore, with modestly cut boxers giving way to flashy, stringy numbers that come with the X factor guaranteed. 8216;8216;A customer is like moulding clay. It8217;s up to us to peddle an image of the kind of person that he wants to be,8217;8217; was the first in a series of instructions imparted to me by Zarina Porbandarwalla, proprietor of Hilton Stores in Mumbai8217;s tony Bandra.

Brands, designs, sizes and corresponding centimetres: It was like learning a new language, and my dutiful guide urged me to unfold each piece and examine it closely to memorise the attributes of the particular style. 8216;8216;The string bikini is by far the most popular among the younger generation of men,8217;8217; said my mentor. Looking down at the allegedly provocative piece of cloth, I concluded that it wasn8217;t worth all the recent hullabaloo the hoardings had generated.

My very first customers turned out to be women, and the second and the third8212;all mothers and wives who knew exactly what they wanted. 8216;8216;Seventy per cent of men8217;s underwear is bought by women,8217;8217; I was told to my great disappointment. It suddenly occurred to me what a controlling lot my gender really is, dictating exactly what their men wear even under their clothes. I tried my luck with the fourth set of ladies, egging them on to buy a pair of bright checked undies, just to see if I was a half-decent salesperson. 8216;8216;This style is very in now, you must take it.8217;8217; I got the thumbs up from my new colleagues when they bought it.

You know what8217;s tricky about men8217;s underwear? The packaging. Now ours come in simple boxes, where the goods slide effortlessly out of one end. Here, however, some come out from the top, others pop out sideways. My amused customers looked on as I fumbled clumsily, dropping boxes and their contents.

Determined to sell at least one of the stringy style called Sin, I tried to push it on everyone who came my way, but my buyers that day were either grand-daddies or conservative aunties.

8220;Seventy per cent of men8217;s underwear is bought by women,8217;8217; I was told to my great disappointment

Convincing a man to buy underwear, I learned, is an exercise in persuasion. A couple near my counter kept whispering and I managed to catch snatches of the woman urging 8216;8216;you need new chaddies,8217;8217; and the firm retort, 8216;8216;No, I have plenty.8217;8217; They eventually left the store with a bigger acquisition, a sherwani.

Another peculiar fact is that underwear sales peak after nine in the night. In strolled an elderly couple at 9:30 intending to buy baniyaans. My eyes lit up as I heard them talk to each other; I promptly launched into my sales pitch in Bengali. There was some conjecture about the gentleman8217;s size with 85 and 90 being pitted against each other. 8216;8216;Buy some colours, you can8217;t wear only white all the time,8217;8217; argued the Mrs. 8216;8216;Tell me, who8217;s going to see what I wear inside? Can you see the colour I8217;m wearing now?8217;8217; he asked me, causing my face to turn as scarlet as a box of Frenchies.

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If journalism doesn8217;t pan out, this is a definite career option. I was so convincing, one customer even asked me the price of shirts at the next counter. 8216;8216;I only sell underwear,8217;8217; I replied tightly. Confession: While struggling with the boxes, I think I mixed up some. I sure hope my new Bong patrons don8217;t go home to find a G-string masquerading as a boxer.