‘I couldn’t risk things going bad’: Why we are so hesitant to let love blossom at work

“I’m here for the long haul. I’m working toward a promotion. What if things went south and it turned awkward or bitter? Men come and go — I’m not throwing away my career when I’ve finally found a profession I love,” she said.

Like Arshia, many professionals find themselves at the crossroads of personal feelings and career ambitions. A harmless work crush can spark a mental tug-of-war: “What would people say?” “What if HR finds out?” “Could this ruin my future here?”

While policies on workplace relationships vary, all hope is not lost –– there are couples who’ve made it work.

Being mindful and respectful at work is key (Source: Freepik)

Shubham Baliya and Deeksha Shrivastava, now managers at a PR firm, began dating as colleagues. “At work, it’s hard to keep things under wraps, especially in a corporate setup where everyone’s watching,” said Baliya, recalling their courtship as both “fun and exciting.”

“The constant balancing act added a bit of thrill, and having your partner around was comforting. It meant there was always someone to talk to, share little moments with, and even sneak in a quick laugh during a hectic day,” he said.

However, they were careful not to blur professional lines. “No extended breaks together, no overly personal desk chats. We didn’t want to become the centre of office gossip,” he said. “Setting clear boundaries helped us keep things smooth, at work and in our relationship,” Baliya said.

Apart from a few curious glances and nosy questions from colleagues, the couple navigated the situation fairly smoothly.

What should you be mindful of?

According to Rima Bhandekar, senior psychologist at Helpline Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, developing a crush at work is entirely natural, but it can get tricky if mishandled.

“First, ask yourself: Am I truly attracted to this person, or just the version I’ve created in my head? Crushes often stem from admiration, collaboration, or even plain boredom,” she said.

She cautioned against oversharing feelings with colleagues, especially if the crush is unreciprocated. “If word spreads, it can create awkwardness or make someone feel like the subject of office gossip. It’s important to respect boundaries, both yours and theirs,” Bhandekar said.

If the feelings start to affect your work, it may help to put some emotional distance. “Even if the attraction is mutual, keep things light and friendly in the workplace,” she said. “And if it’s not mutual, it’s essential to process those emotions in a healthy way and respect rejection without pressing for explanations.”

HRspeak

Turns out, the fear of HR isn’t always justified.

“It’s not as complicated as people think,” said Sanjana J, an HR professional. “It all depends on the company culture, and on emotional intelligence. I’ve seen couples handle their relationships with such maturity that no one even noticed anything was going on,” she said.

“As long as there’s no official policy against it, and it doesn’t disrupt professionalism or productivity, I don’t see the harm,” Sanjana said.

From an organisational standpoint, Unnati Anam, founder of Unnati Anam Consultancy, told indianexpress.com that workplace romance is one of those grey zones HR often hesitates to address. But turning a blind eye usually makes it harder for everyone.”

Having worked with agencies, startups, and fast-growing teams, Anam said inter-office relationships are far more common than companies admit. “When people spend 8-10 hours a day together building something meaningful, personal bonds are bound to form. The key is how we approach it –– with maturity, clarity, and systems that safeguard both individuals and the team,” she said.

Sharing some key lessons from her years of experiences, Anam shared a do’s and don’ts guide to navigating office crushes:

What to avoid

• Not having any policy at all. A simple clause in the handbook acknowledging inter-office relationships and laying out expectations goes a long way.
• Letting gossip take over. Informal handling leads to bias, rumours, and unnecessary friction.
• Overlooking power imbalance. When a relationship involves someone in a reporting or leadership role, it’s important to reconsider structure for fairness

What to do

• Create a culture of psychological safety so team members can share without feeling judged.
• Prioritise confidentiality and professionalism when a relationship is disclosed.
• Be supportive if dynamics change or if one person exits, this is where HR’s emotional intelligence also matters the most.

Anam also said, “Optics matter. The aim isn’t to micromanage emotions, but to protect team trust. Everyone should feel confident that decisions are based on merit, not bias.”

To conclude, workplace relationships don’t have to be complicated. With open communication, clear expectations, and trust, companies and employees can handle such situations with care and respect.