‘Mummy ka phone number do!’: Malaika Arora schools teen contestant for inappropriate gestures on dance show; expert on when kids should learn public behaviour

In the now-viral clip, Malaika, visibly displeased, confronted the contestant and asked, “Mummy ka phone number do! (Give me your mother’s phone number!).” She further pointed out, “He is winking. He is giving flying kisses.” 

While the contestant may have intended his actions as part of his performance, they highlight the importance of educating young individuals about appropriate behaviour, personal boundaries, and the consequences of their actions.

“By the age of three or four, children can start learning basic social norms such as respecting personal space, using polite language, and understanding consent in simple ways. As they grow older, these lessons should be reinforced with more nuanced discussions about boundaries, respect, and appropriate social conduct,” Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director at Cadabams Hospitals, explains.

Parents play a crucial role in this process by modeling respectful behavior, setting clear and consistent expectations, and using everyday situations as teaching moments.

“Open conversations about body autonomy, personal space, and emotional intelligence should be normalised at home so that children develop a strong internal understanding of what is appropriate in different settings,” she adds.

 

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The role of culture, society, and guidance in shaping acceptable behaviour

“Television shows, movies, social media, and even online trends can reinforce certain behaviors as normal, even if they are inappropriate. Additionally, the way authority figures react to inappropriate behavior in a household or community can either reinforce or discourage certain actions,” Cadabam notes.

Educators and guardians have a responsibility to help young individuals critically evaluate these influences.

“Schools should integrate lessons on media literacy, respect, and personal boundaries into their curriculum. Meanwhile, parents and guardians should have open, judgment-free discussions about how media representations and social norms align with real-world values, helping young individuals develop the ability to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy behaviors,” she advises.

Addressing inappropriate behaviour in teenagers

Addressing inappropriate behavior in teenagers requires a balanced approach that corrects the behavior without shaming or damaging their self-esteem. “Instead of reacting with anger or humiliation, adults should calmly explain why a certain behaviour is inappropriate and what impact it has on others. Encouraging self-reflection by asking questions such as ‘How do you think that made the other person feel?’ can help teenagers understand the consequences of their actions,” Cadabam suggests.

Positive reinforcement, where good behaviour is acknowledged and encouraged, can also be more effective than simply punishing mistakes.