Navigating emotions after a breakup can be complicated - especially when your former partner finds love again, and even more so if that new person is part of your social circle. In an interview with Rajeev Masand for Elle India back in 2019, Katrina Kaif shared her perspective on how she managed to remain friends with Alia Bhatt, who at the time was dating her ex, Ranbir Kapoor. Katrina offered a grounded, honest reflection on how she processes emotional pain and chooses to move forward. “It comes from realising that these things don’t matter. Me holding on to resentment or a grudge isn’t going to change the situation. It boils down to logic. But I’m human. Yeah, I feel bad, I cry. I feel devastated. And then, I get back up and say, it’s fine. Something’s coming, something’s coming,” she said. But, how can one practically balance emotional vulnerability with rational thinking when dealing with pain from a past relationship? Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Balancing emotional vulnerability with rational thinking is a tough task. Our brains are designed in such a way that when intensity of the situation increases, our prefrontal cortex, which is the logical part of our brain, tends to shut down. Leaving the parts which carry memories, emotions and impulses as more dominant. Hence distress tolerance, that is training oneself to be able to tolerate uncomfortable states of being without doing something 'rash' or with balancing practicality.” This dual awareness can be developed through practices like journaling (where emotions are processed privately) and cognitive restructuring (where one actively challenges distorted thoughts like “I’ll never find love again”). Therapy, especially modalities like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), often helps individuals develop this muscle of holding two truths at once: “I am hurting and I know I will be okay.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Katrina Kaif (@katrinakaif) Healthy ways to let go of resentment Letting and letting be are important cogs in the wheel of grieving. “Resentment often stems from lingering attachment or unexpressed hurt. Acknowledging that resentment is a form of pain can be the first step toward letting it go,” notes Arora. Once named and acknowledged, then one can work on expressing the same, so that they do not bottle their emotions up and also work on healthy ways of meeting those needs. “Boundaries, both emotional and digital, are also critical. While maintaining civility in shared spaces is mature, it’s equally mature to avoid unnecessary exposure, like constantly checking their social media or comparing your life with theirs. Over time, cultivating compassion can help release the grip resentment holds,” states the expert. Healing and emotional growth through believing that better things are ahead Katrina’s statement, “something’s coming,” displays resilience. “This kind of future orientation is protective in nature and helps build self belief. It also comes from a place of acceptance, that the person has radically accepted whatever they are going through and are now choosing to believe they are still worthy,” mentions Arora. To hold on to that hope, Arora suggests: - Visualise the future self you want to become. - Surround yourself with narratives of resilience - through books, films, or real-life role models. - Practice gratitude and micro-moments of joy to shift the emotional baseline upward, even during grief.
