‘Every once in a while, have a good cry’: Gulshan Devaiah advises men as he critiques ‘men don’t cry’ notion

According to Devaiah, “But it is also important to release a lot of negativity from inside also. So, every once in a while, have a good cry. It’s not embarrassing at all. People won’t judge you. We suffer more in our imagination than you think in reality.”

Drisha Dey, consultant psychologist, Kolkata affirmed with Devaiah and told us that crying is the body’s natural way of releasing pent-up emotions such that the natural state of rest can be restored and maintained.

“Men are conditioned right from childhood that crying, for any reason, is a sign of weakness because it threatens their manhood. The only acceptable situation to do so is when their sports team loses because such passionate care for sports teams is a sign of manhood. A society that has managed to equate a simple and natural act of maintaining one’s nervous system into an alarming sign of threat, leads to men feeling isolated and sequestered when they go through the lows of life, as everyone does,” elaborated Dey.

 

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Suppressing the need to calm down our nervous systems leads to the suppression and bottling up of emotions such as loneliness, anger, sorrow, etc.

“In turn, since these emotions have no natural course to follow, they fester and ferment until such a time that they cannot be controlled anymore and come to the forefront in a distorted, and often harmful, manner. It usually takes less than five minutes for an emotion to pass through us. Thus, what makes us human and can be handled quite simply and naturally is made to unnecessarily go through a number of hurdles,” said Dey.

So, if you feel the need to cry out, take your time and do just that without thinking of anything else, Dey said.

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