‘Main kisi ajnabee ko apne dil ki baat…’: Aamir Khan says he resisted therapy during separation from Reena Dutta; why some men struggle to seek support

Aamir also described the mental blocks he carried before opening up to a professional. “Maine Reena ko bola, ‘Mujhe nahi bolna kisi strange insaan ko ki mere kya jazbaat hain ya mera aapka rishta kya raha hai. Main kisi ajnabee ko apne dil ki baat kaise rakhun?’ (I told Reena, ‘I don’t want to tell a stranger what I’m feeling or our relationship has been like. How can I share the matters of my heart with someone I don’t even know?’).” 

Why do some men feel such intense resistance or discomfort toward the idea of therapy? 

Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “We, as Indians, are raised in the culture of ‘ghar ki baat ghar mein hi rahni chahie (What happens at home, should stay at home).’ Meaning that the private conversations are not to be shared with the outside world, with the fear of being judged, looked down upon and worst ‘nazar’.”

 

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On top of this, he says that men are raised in cultures where emotional privacy, self-reliance, and stoicism are subtly or overtly encouraged. And being a “girl,” crying or being vulnerable are considered non-masculine. “For many men, talking about ‘jazbaat’ (emotions) is deeply personal and sometimes shame-laden, especially if emotional expression was never modeled or validated during upbringing. Furthermore, therapy can feel like surrendering control—sharing pain with someone unfamiliar, risking judgment, or fearing that one’s reality might be reframed in unsettling ways,” notes Arora. 

In situations like a separation, what role can counselling play in helping individuals gain insight?

Counselling isn’t just about reconciliation, especially during or after a separation. Arora explains, “It helps people reflect on their patterns, emotional blind spots, unmet needs, and sometimes, unspoken guilt. It allows partners to grieve the loss while also re-examining who they were in the relationship and who they are becoming outside it.”

It becomes increasingly challenging if kids and co-parenting are involved. “But counselling post-separation takes more individual form, laden with introspection and retrospection. It can quietly but powerfully nudge people toward accountability — not in the legal sense, but in the emotional one,” concludes the expert.