3 simple tips to make your child listen to you (without yelling)

A number of parents face difficulties in making their children listen to them. But by following some tips, one can easily foster a supportive environment and encourage their child to listen and cooperate without the need for yelling.

Engage in active listening and showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. (Getty Images)

Getting your child to listen without resorting to yelling is a crucial part of parenting. Yelling may momentarily grab their attention, but it creates a negative environment and deteriorates the parent-child relationship. Instead, one should focus on cultivating open communication and mutual respect. If you are not sure how to do this, you’re not alone. A number of parents face difficulties in making their children listen to them. But by following some tips, one can easily foster a supportive environment and encourage their child to listen and cooperate without the need for yelling.

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As such, through Instagram, Dr Jazmine, a psychologist spoke about the issue and gave out three tips to parents on how to get out of this frustrating cycle and see better cooperation. “Most parents fall into a cycle of reacting to behaviour, not managing it. This is why you’re exhausted! The key to managing behaviour is shifting your focus,” she wrote.

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A post shared by Dr. Jazmine | Positive Parenting & Discipline (@themompsychologist)

Here is the simple 3-step formula:

Step 1: Connect (Give lots of positive attention)

Parents’ attention is the most important and critical part of parenting, which is often misplaced. Giving your child (if not all) attention when your child is misbehaving is a common parenting mistake. The problem with this is your child comes to learn they get the most control, attention and recognition following misbehaviour, not appropriate behaviour.

Step 2: Regulate emotions (yours then theirs)

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Harsh truth- A parent cannot help their child regulate their emotions, if they themselves do not know how to control their emotions in the first place. No one can be perfect at this; one needs to be with their children in this journey. A child can then be taught this skill through emotional coaching.

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How to be your child’s emotional coach:

*Awareness of emotion: Both yours and your child’s.
*Perspective: View your child’s emotion as an opportunity to come closer and teach new skills
*Listen to your child with empathy and validate
*Help your child learn to label their emotions: With words like “I feel sad, I feel mad, I feel happy.”
*Explore solutions together: Help them problem solve

Step 3: Guide behaviour

*Plan consequence ahead of time
*Communicate consequences to your child when everyone is calm and connected
*Connect prior to instruction
*Give one clear instruction
*Follow through with consequence (if a child does not listen)

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