Since the world is not enough, humankind has taken to littering space. Ever since the space race began, misfiring rocketry and misconceived missions have strewn Low Earth Orbit with about three lakh pieces of junk, aggregating to thousands of tonnes of metal and ceramic. They range in size from burnt-out rocket engines to tiny nuts and bolts. But since they are whizzing about at the speed of rifle bullets, size doesn’t matter. A half-inch screw could puncture the hull of a spacecraft, or even the space faring dreams of humanity.
Space junk has been recognised as a hazard. So, the scientific world was only mildly surprised to learn that a team at the Australian National University had gathered $60 million in state grants and private investment for a Cooperative Research Centre (CRC), an observatory which will target space junk. And then it will build lasers to zap them like the Death Star. But since Luke Skywalker’s photon torpedoes are yet to be invented, the CRC has the relatively modest ambition of dislodging junk from orbit and into atmospheric re-entry. If they time re-entry over the night side of the planet, they can guarantee free stratospheric fireworks displays to light up the lives of generations to come.
But how distressing it is to learn that the imperative to clean, green and recycle has reached orbit. For a species which has been happy to offshore its junk, its hazardous waste and even its convicts in the past, it is hard to accept that offworlding junk is a no-no. Thank heavens we are not expected to clean it up with mops and buckets. Thank your stars that there’s a terrestrial laser, a GoldenEye in reverse, which will zap it for you.
